Geneva, Switzerland - A panel of eminent doctors at the World Head Organization has issued a damning report about the British PM.
Four years of intensive screwtiny have produced a psychological profile of David Cameron that describes him as a shitty - uh, shifty! - megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur - qualities more suitable for the job of President of the United States.
Shrinks looked at a variety of key indicators to make the assessment including Interpol fingerprint files, CIA DNA records and KGB double agent profiles.
The results were startling.
"By far the biggest indicators were Swiss bank money laundering dossiers decrypted by the Feds," Professor Einstein Flintstone commented.
"Always a good indication of character and mental state."
The comparison to Cameron's predecessor Gorgon Brown will not go down well in Whitehall's corridors of power where the former PM was regarded as a drunken degenerate numbskull 'with all the charm of a dose of syphilis'.
Chancellor George Osborne is 69.
