Russian Black Sea Fleet is doomed as NATO seismologists warn of 1927 Crimea quakes repeat
Black Sea - Fifty billion dollarsworth of Russian naval hardware is a sitting duck in the Black Sea waters off Crimea NATO seismologists warned today as the region readied for the start of the 2014 earthquake season. A repeat performance of the t...
Read full storyMassachusetts Says "Yes" To Upskirt Photos
BOSTON - The state of Massachusetts has just become the first state in the nation to state that the taking of upskirt photographs is legal and picture takers have the right to take their upper thigh shots. The law states that this is America and i...
Read full storyPutin Takes Shirt Off, Ready to Get Down to Business in the Ukraine
Vladimir Putin, ruler of Russia, warns Russia and Europe that they should not mess with him. "I am warning you, I am getting ready to take my shirt off and get busy!" said Putin. The United States remarked that Putin should keep his nose out of...
Read full storyGlobal Warming 'Deniers' Officially Classified by US Government
Global Warmists across the nation today cheered as a new study commissioned to once and for all silence doubters, got official clearance from the government to tag complete strangers as 'deniers'. Argon Delay-hee, of the Gore Global Grope Group (...
Read full storyChurch of Scamotology Announces Boycott of Leah Remini's Reality Show
Clearwater, FL The Church of Scamotology announced that any Scamotologists that watch Leah Remini's new reality show will be excommunicated instantly. "Leah Remini is an SP, a Supressive person, and anyone watching her show is in danger of not goi...
Read full storyWhy has no one punished Russia for what they did to Sandra Bullock in "Gravity"?
Russia hasn't been a popular country over the last week or so with the world. Their passing of the anti-gay legislation, their illegal invasion of the Crimea. However somewhere lost amongst the chaos, there has been an issue that no one has even thought about addressing, perhaps because we're so blinded by liberal rage. I'm of course talking about the Russian's poor treatment of Sandra Bullock in...
Read full storyUS Sends Cold War Era Warplane Reminders to Putin
The US has sent warplanes to eastern Europe in response to Putin's charge into Ukraine. At last report, six F-16's were headed to Poland while six F-15s were to go to Lithuania. In all, a full dozen planes along with a few KC-135 tankers. Anonymou...
Read full storyPutin boosts gay magazine sales
NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK -- Half-naked photographs of Vladimir ("The Impaler") Putin as he fishes in a river, rides horseback, swims, hunts tigers, and vetoes Federal Assembly legislation has caught the eye of the publisher of The Upholder, a gay male maga...
Read full storyMan Rushing To Complete Spoof News Article While Waiting For Flight Misses Boarding And Is Now Stranded In Houston, Texas
An extremely eager Spoof writer, determined to increase his points total and spew out yet another ill edited, ill thought off and frankly unfunny spoof news article missed his flight home to Fort Lauderdale after he was too busy compiling an article...
Read full storyHillary to study history in preparation for likely 2016 presidential run
NEW YAWK, NEW YAWK -- In an effort to appear "tough," presidential candidate Hillary Clinton called Russian president Vladimir ("Vlad the Impaler") Putin "another Hitler." Except for Putin's mustache, she said, he looks just like the Nazi dictator...
Read full storyObama's sanctions on badass Russians could see Roman Abramovich's yachts impounded
Washington, DC - The US Coast Guard Service has been issued with high tech titanium grappling hooks for boarding recalcitrant Russians' super yachts in a fiendish Obama plot to freeze the nuts off Putin's billionaire henchmen. Dozens of oligarchs...
Read full storyBig-Shot Barry, Brilliant Businessman
Barry found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office. "It must be my first customer" Barry thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country. F...
Read full storyPutin orders Russian forces into Hawaii
Russian president Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin has ordered his crack Spacsnatz forces to seize the island of Maui in what many fear is a desperate attempt to secure a nice holiday destination for the Putins. Hot on the heels of the recent Crimean assa...
Read full storySusan Penhaligon, The 70's British Brigitte Bardot Says Botox Has Turned Her Into A British Version of Joan Rivers
LONDON - Susan Penhaligon a British film icon who during the 70s was considered to be the English Brigitte Bardot has cast out a warning to other women about the hazards of botox. Penhaligon who many also compared to America's Marilyn Monroe in he...
Read full storyAmerican Idol - Rock & Roller Caleb Johnson Is The Early Odds On Favorite
HOLLYWOOD - This year's Top 12 contestants on American Idol are not causing the fan frenzy that past Top 12 contestants from previous years have. The judges, Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick, Jr., are getting a little more harsher in...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Derek Hough Spotted Tongue Wrestling At The Encino Reservoir
ENCINO, California - Derek Hough of Dancing With The Stars recently remarked that he has never been with a woman that he enjoys being with more than Nina Dobrev, star of The Vampire Diaries. Hough, 28, said that Nina, 25, is one of the most luscio...
Read full storyKim Kardashian and Kanye West's Erotic Video Hits The Net
HOLLYWOOD - An embarrassed Kim Kardashian has stated that she has no idea how in the wide, wide world an erotic video of her and her fiancé Kanye West ended up on the Internet. Kim told Hollywood Innuendo's Fajita San Guacamole that the video, whi...
Read full storyOceanic Scientists Have Discovered That Jellyfish Can Predict Hurricanes That Have Not Even Formed Yet
MIAMI - The United States Department of Hurricanes has just informed the national news media that they have made a fabulous discovery. A team of oceanic scientists working under the leadership of Dr. Cleopatra Mangosteen [Harvard-1993] have discov...
Read full storyThe Klondike Polar Vortex Could End Up Freezing The Atlantic Ocean
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Weather has issued a severe winter snow storm warning for an area from the Dakotas all the way Eastward to New England. The report states that The Klondike Polar Vortex could cause some temperatur...
Read full storyPresident Obama Is Planning A Trip To Denmark - Mrs. Obama Is Reportedly Furious
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Word coming out of the White House is that President Obama is quite excited about his upcoming trip to Copenhagen, Denmark. The president will be meeting with the Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt who is one very attr...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Would Love To Acquire Texas A&M Great Johnny Manziel
DALLAS - Jerry Jones may be a shrewd businessman, but when it comes to certain aspects regarding his football team the billionaire gets an F minus. Jones has said time after time that he will stick with his quarterback Tony "Oops" Romo even if the...
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