Sporting Goods Chain Refuses to Pay for Employees' Boner Pills
Self Righteous Sporting Goods Corporation recently announced that their employee health plan will no longer cover medication for erectile dis-function (ED) unless the employee is married, Christian, and seeking to procreate. The closely-held retail c...
Read full storyLeeds United Formation and Transfer Issues
The transfer situation at Leeds United has "gone into meltdown" as Dave Hockaday has admitted that "all the good players we (Leeds) want to sign won't be able to adapt to the amazing diamond formation the club now plays better than who we've got."...
Read full storyDe Blasio meets the Godfather; outsources NYPD to the Mob
Rome - Snubbed by The Holy Father, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio had a private audience with The Godfather on the first day of his Italian vacation. The meeting paid off immediately, with the mob boss agreeing to take over the operation of the New Yo...
Read full storyG.P.S Sends Tourists To Isle Of Wight Prison
Tea, coffee and sandwich sales have rocketed at H.M.P. Isle of Wight Visitor Centre due to a G.P.S. mix up. A recent initiative by the Isle of Wight Tourist Institute, hoping to sell the Island as a holiday destination and not just an amalgamati...
Read full storySmack my bitch up as Queen's corgi tests positive for skag
London - One of Queen Elizardbirth's ghastly corgis has been caught shooting up heroin at a Kennel Club party. Royal Protection Racket sniffer dogs caught canine smack head Duchess Kate walking the dog in Rotten Row, London's top hangout for palac...
Read full storyQueen's horse denies swallowing morphine!
After discovering huge amounts of morphine in the Queen's horse (one of many) the royal vet, Sir Humphrey Nag, a renowned horse whisperer, issued the following statement: "The Queen's horse, who shall remain anonymous, has confirmed the fact that...
Read full storyPerry: Make Illegal Minors Work For Kids TV
AUSTIN, Texas - Gov. Rick Perry believes that unaccompanied children entering the U.S. illegally should be rounded up and forced to work in children's TV programming as offbeat public housing neighbors, custodial help or slick, streetwise hustlers, a...
Read full storyBlame Russia and Putin (BRAP) Day to become annual rite and special holiday like July 4
A new movement for a special day of celebration is popular with the President, backed by Senator McCain, with enthusiasm showing in the mainstream press. The Blame Russia and Putin Day, or BRAP Day, is gathering steam. A summer day, probably in...
Read full storyRoyal Baby Amazes Tabloid Newspapers By Being One Year Old On His First Birthday
Millionaire ordinary baby, Prince George seems to have astounded everyone by being one year old on his first birthday. This fantastic and uplifting development has taken many people's minds off the reality of a terrible plane crash and alleged wholes...
Read full storyIllegal Immigrants Admit They Came to U.S. for Glenn Beck's Free Soccer Balls
McAllen, TX - A Honduran woman accidentally let the cat out of the bag yesterday when she unwittingly explained to a reporter the real reason she and tens of thousands of her fellow Latin American citizens travelled thousands of miles was for the...
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