Suicide Donkey Explodes in Hamas Terror Plot, Hundreds Get Free Piece of Ass
Gaza - Ok, so the title of this article is the only remotely funny part of this story and is really just to get your attention. This latest attempt to kill innocents in the Middle East by using animals as a way to get bombs close to crowds in...
Read full storyBritish PM to freeze the nuts off Roman Abramovich's assets as anti-Putin sanctions start to bite
London - An anti-Putin groundswell is threatening to explode into the murky world of oligarch assets like Roman Abramovich's London gold vaults. On Monday British Prime Minister David Cameron will sign an order for Diplomatic Protection Racket cop...
Read full storyYou Alright? : Illegal To Repeat
The greeting "you alright?" has officially been made an illegal response to "you alright?" The response, which has been widely accepted by morons across the country for decades, has now been made an illegal response because it makes no sense due...
Read full storyOMG, someone's put a slug in Courtney Stodden's lettuce bikini
Washington DC - Something slimy has creeped its way out of Courtney Stodden's Butterhead lettuce bikini during a vegan beauty parade. And nibbled a hole in the Iceberg leaves that barely cover the TV star's 44DD bikini cups. TV cameramen filmi...
Read full storyObama Joins Everyone Else In Blaming Obama For Everything
"I blame President Obama for this," said an angry President Obama as traffic snarled on the I-95 just south of D.C. Honking his horn and cursing at other road users the angry President shook his head, "This is his fault, this traffic jam - and this s...
Read full storyMacDison Swiss Army Bagpipes sold to U.S. Navy in $100m deal
MacDison PLC has clinched a $100m contract to supply Swiss Army Bagpipes to the U.S. Navy. The innovative bagpipes include an Egg Boiler, Tyre Inflator, Knife Blade, Letter Opener, Light, Magnifying Glass, Money Clip, Nail File, Pen, Pin, Protractor,...
Read full storyJK Rowling Plans Crime Spree
JK Rowling, whose crime novels written under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith will eventually outnumber her Harry Potter books, has announced that she is planning a crime spree. Our informant "Mick", who generally hangs out at the bus station rubb...
Read full storyGrief, Sadness and Then Anger At Tragic Loss of Live Overwhelms Social Media
Social media was a buzz with outpourings of immense grief, a sense of universal loss and then feelings of anger; after it was announced actor James Garner, whose whimsical style in the 1950s TV Western "Maverick" led to a stellar career in TV and fil...
Read full storyFormer football pundit Alan Hansen appointed as new Defence Secretary
Prime Minister David Cameron announced this morning in London that former television pundit and Liverpool defender Alan Hansen has been appointed as the new Secretary of Defence. "Alan has a history of making sure nothing slips past him. That wor...
Read full storySusan Rice Sent to Russia to Assist Putin in Cover-Up of Malaysian Airline Disaster
Washington D.C. - Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, has been dispatched to Russia by President Obama to assist President Putin in his cover-up attempt to hide the damage his soldiers did when they murdered nearly 300 innocent people a...
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