ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men......And Women
ISIS - The Answer To The Future You've Always Wanted! (This is the real ISIS, the one that kills anyone and anything it wants, not one of those wimpy organizations with that stupid Egyptian symbol of a guy with a jackals head, the image of which, by the way, is outlawed by our sect.) Are you f___ed up? REALLY f___ed up? Do you dream of a life like the heroic characters you play for 5 h...
Read full storyViennese New Year's Day Concert may be Heroin Fence
The genteel, Highbrow,traditional Classical music Concert at the Wiener Musikhalle, New Year's Day, is being investigated by the Drugs Unit, Interpol. It would seem that, despite years of Mozart - Loving patronage, the Great Konzert may have sinis...
Read full storyFake Sony hacking attack pops one million dollars box office sales plus bolsters sagging reputations here and there
The past week has shown several internet and hacking experts clear North Korea as responsible for the hacking attack on Sony. That is, North Korea was not responsible for the hacking. Former Sony employees (and possibly the CIA) are suspected a...
Read full storyObama's Reference to 'The Hangover', seen as insensitive by Alabama Folks
Mr Obama's humorous reference to the film 'The Hangover', regarding his non - intention to contest a third Presidential Election, has angered Descendants of Ku - Klux - Klan Victims, in Alabama and the Mississipi Delta Area, 'Anything referencing...
Read full storyUndertakers' spy drones circle over Queen's Sandringham estate
Norfolk - The skies over Sandringham were teeming with surveillance drones today as local funeral directors website Dead Norfolk Broads R Us.con acted on a tipoff about an imminent 'happy event'. "Of course, Her Maj might be planning to top old Ph...
Read full storyEx-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond
Idris Elba has declined the role of a black James Bond as he considered it condescending to fellow blacks as well as the total misportrayal of the original character. Fleming's 007 was a MI6 spy proficient in languages and the martial arts; and a...
Read full storyWhat to do with Christmas Leftovers, 3 Key Items
1. Freeze Turkey Giblets , then promote as genuine WW1 Christmas Truce Football Match Interval Edwardian 'Comfits' or 'Fancies'. 2. Mix up any old rubbish lurking in your fridge , with some Fruits Rouges ( or tinned Raspberries) and label it: 'French and/or Italian Rustic Preserve.'..then decant into any glass pot, stick a label in French or Italian onto it....money for old rope, but make sure...
Read full storyForsyth's Muscular - Rub Ad breaches Disney Property Rights
Brice Forsyth, National Treasure/ageing dancer, has recently presented a TV ad for 'Valtoral Rub', aimed at muscular pain sufferers. 'Ice to see you, to see you, Ice'...and Remember, keep it FROZEN, with Valtoral', says the 'Strichnine Dancing' Ho...
Read full storyHarrods Customers argue over 'Italianish' Products
Italian Artisan Products such as Proscuitto, Prosecco and Parmigiano Stuff are always in demand , amongst the 'Cognoscenti' of sophisticated Retail. However, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing and nowhere more so than in a recent Boxing Day f...
Read full story2014 Resigns Early: "Total Disgust with Humanity." Tells 2015: "Good Luck, Sucker!"
Aging year 2014 resigned today, 48 hours earlier than expected, citing ethical fatigue and "total disgust with humanity." Badly cut and beaten by the events of the past 12 months, the old codger said he no longer cared that Earth would be in mora...
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