Last Frights For Papa Ratzi, The Pontiff Who Threw In The Towel
Rome - "Uh, who threw up all over the towel, more likely," Monsignor Guido Gorgonzola, Keeper of the Papal Adult Diapers, commented at reports that Pope Joe Ratzinger is on a life support machine tonight. A team of top gerontologists at Rome's Osp...
Read full storyNinety GOP Congressmen cut off noses in a mass mutilation celebration!
It was a jubilant crowd yesterday afternoon as ninety GOP congressmen marched and frolicked into a press conference after effectively shutting down the government. They had just returned from Walter Reed Hospital where they had their noses surgically...
Read full storyShut Down The Government- Yeah!!!
SHUT HER DOWN! SHUT HER DOWN! YEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! Go ahead and shut the dinosaur down! It will be days before most people even would notice. They don't seem to be able to do much lately except fight like Yuppie versions of the Hatfields and McCoys anyway. While we're at it let's cut off the Senators and Legislators hospitalization for life on the taxpayers dime and suspend their pay...
Read full storyFlowers Portend Patriot Future
PEACHTREE, ATLANTA- Playing in an igloo with Mattie Ice could be a chilling experience for Bill Belichick's hothouse flowers. The New England Patriots may be ripe for the plucking. Flores por los muertos? You may have a bunch soon. Experts and...
Read full storyObama Abolishes Congress, Will Rule by Executive Order
The White House announced today that President Obama has issued an order suspending the representative branch of government. "The Congress is clearly not listening to reason or logic," the President said angrily, "and the Executive Branch cannot per...
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