Last Frights For Papa Ratzi, The Pontiff Who Threw In The Towel

Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 29 September 2013

image for Last Frights For Papa Ratzi, The Pontiff Who Threw In The Towel
Likely to croak it around Halloween

Rome - "Uh, who threw up all over the towel, more likely," Monsignor Guido Gorgonzola, Keeper of the Papal Adult Diapers, commented at reports that Pope Joe Ratzinger is on a life support machine tonight.

A team of top gerontologists at Rome's Ospedale Machiavelli have placed his holiness on 24/7 intravenous communion wine and holy unguents to keep the 80-something Teutonic geezer ticking over quietly.

The drip is regularly topped up with a drop of the hard stuff brewed by the ex-Pope's housekeeper Sister Ingrid Stampa, a lay nun from the B'Ovarian Order of the Immaculate Deception and self-proclaimed karate black belt.

Mother Morticia, as she is generally known in the Catacombs, also appears to have a bit of a reputation as a role model for a character in the well-known Hollywood James Bond movie Tomorrow Never Dies.

According to QM-NewsCorpse sources the Swiss Guards once reckoned the nun was the original inspiration behind for a character in the James Bond movie Tomorrow Never Dies, the horrid Mr Stamper.

The film's PR blurb describes 'Stamper' as a henchman of a bent international media villain and protégé of a professional assassin and chakra torture specialist from Bavaria.

Expect Papa Ratzi to finally croak for this year's Halloween.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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