Pepe and Vladimir at Club Formulation: a frank discussion
Pepe Warezabar here once again at Sheremetyeov Airport and beyond, that old Beatles song in my head: I'm back in the USSR! You don't know how lucky you are, boy. Back in the USSR! Of course I mean I'm back in today's Russia and newfound bastion for liberty lovers who must flee their governments! I couldn't find Mr. Snowden at the airport, however. Nowhere to be seen, so I hotfooted downtown...
Read full storyPanama fast becoming anti-terror hot seat
Panama City - Just days after seizing a cache of Cuban missile parts destined for Kim Jong-Un's crackpot dictatorship Panamanian anti-terror cops have scored another brilliant hit with the detention of a fugitive ex-CIA operative wanted on abduction...
Read full storyJohnny Depp and Honey Boo Boo star in action adventure set in Transylvania
Johnny Depp and Honey Boo Boo are the stars of a new movie scheduled to hit theaters this fall. Searching Transylvania to Find Eddie Guest is a rambling adventure in which Johnny Depp plays American folklore legend Daniel Boone and Honey Boo Boo play...
Read full storyEdward Snowden Elected Mayor of Dudinka, Siberia
Special to TPN - ITAR-TASS, the Russian news agency, announced that Edward J. Snowden, the former intelligence contractor on the run from the American authorities, has won the mayoralty race in Dudinka. Dudinka is the administrative center of Taymyrs...
Read full storyObama administration mulls military action to end Zimmerman situation
WASHINGTON - The top U.S. military officer told a Senate panel Thursday that the Obama administration is deliberating whether to use military power to end the situation caused by the Zimmermann ruling. Amid an increasing clamour among Trayvon Mart...
Read full storyExtremely rare smut-fungus destroys only surviving first edition of 'The 120 Days of Sodom'
Paris - The original, extremely rare first edition copy of the Marquis de Sade's notorious 1785 bodice-ripper has been completely eaten away by what curators at the Louvre Museum say is the dreaded sooty-black smut fungus Urocystis colchici. The n...
Read full storyIs this what Liam Gallagher really thinks of impending royal bundle of joy?
Ibiza - The Beady Eye musician has been spotted at the Mediterranean holiday isle sporting a fun, topical message for Kate Middleton and her daft husband Wills. The $250-a-pop 'Baby f**k off' designer T-shirt from trendy label 'F++k The Royal Wed...
Read full storyPeople "too poor to commit crime"
While government sources applauded the 7% drop in crime last year, charities and social welfare groups warned that the drop is nothing to do with people being better behaved but is entirely due to the fact that people are too poor to commit crimes.
Read full storyNation's Satire Authors Protest Federal Government
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - Dozens of satire authors staged a protest at the intersection of Banana Skin Ave. and Precariously-Placed-Vase-On-Top-Of-A-Ladder Highway to bring their complaints to the "people" of San Francisco. At the heart of their protes...
Read full storyNASA Announces GO BLUE Initiative
If you think this has to do with the University of Michigan, think again. No way! Instead, the GO BLUE Initiative involves NASA's doing just about everything possible to foster the natural "blueness" of a very special planet, HD 189733b. (Read...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Cowes Kangaroo Farm to close
Kangaroo Farm in Cowes, affectionately known as KFC, the island's only farm of kangaroos is to close it's gates at the end of the month for the last time after complaints from local residents forced the council into action. "We've been keeping kan...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Very Upset With The Olsen Twins
NASHVILLE - Close friends of country artist Taylor Swift say that Taylor is so mad at the Olsen twins that she could eat a handful of nuts and bolts. It appears that Mary-Kate and Ashley co-wrote a song about one of Ashley's ex-boyfriends, Johnny...
Read full storyMetta World Peace Joins The New York Knicks
NEW YORK CITY - Metta World Peace, the NBA basketball star formerly known as Ron Artest has found a new home and it's not in China it's in New York City. The ex-Laker has just signed with the New York Knicks and he will be playing along side of Ca...
Read full storyBrandi Glanville Still Seething at The Fact That LeAnn Rimes Stole Her Husband
BEVERLY HILLS - The hair stylist to the stars, FuFi Fondue has revealed that Brandi Glanville, 40, a cast member of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is not a happy camper. It seems that dandy Brandi has still not gotten over the fact that coun...
Read full storyDonald Trump Hates Being Ignored
NEW YORK CITY - There is perhaps no one in the entire United States who hates being ignored more than Mr. Golden Hair himself, Donald Trump. Everyone knows that when it comes to the size of egos, Trump's is probably a little bit bigger than Greenl...
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth II: The baby shan't spoil one's holiday plans
WINDSOR - Queen Elizabeth II has issued a royal decree stating that the coming of William's and Kate's spawn shall hurry the hell up and get here so that her holiday plans don't get mucked up. Although Her Majesty has been doing the talking, it i...
Read full storyLong, protracted human suffering key to economy - Japan Finance Minister
"For too long our economy has suffered under the shadow of happiness and well being" proclaimed Japanese Finance Minister Taro Aso at the official launch of the new Suffering for Prosperity committee. The committee was formed earlier this month a...
Read full storySummer Awards and Festivities Announced
The White House has indicated ceremonies and awards in upcoming festivities honoring recent and ongoing achievements. The awards are being carefully vetted by a bi-partisan commission from Perception Management and Bright Stripes Corporation (mot...
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