Make Your Own Spanking Paddle, by Martha Stewart
"Spanking paddles never go out of style," the lifestyle guru/author/media mogul/caterer/felon Martha Stewart stated during a recent appearance on the set of Bravo's Watch What Happens Live. "Handy, useful and easy to store under the bed, the spanking paddle is so easy to make that even children can make one!" Martha enthused as she lined up the materials needed for the demonstration. "I prefer...
Read full storyCherie's rapture as daughter Kate Middleton claims 'Occupation: Princess' on baby's birth certificate
London - The dirty old Scouser's gargantuan social climbing ambitions are orgasming deliriously at her Italian mobster daughter Kate Middleton's latest scam. Asked to describe her occupation on Baby Prince George Bush's birth certificate the daft...
Read full storyPlayboy Playmates
In The Secret of Wealth and Happiness, Hu Humpher, under the pen name Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy magazine, explains what led to his success: the Playboy Playmate. For anyone who may be visiting from another planet, a Playboy Playmate is a full-color, glossy, airbrushed photograph of a nude woman with a staple through at least one portion (and usually two) of her anatomy. She is also someti...
Read full storySnowden granted asylum in attempt to stop leaks
Mount Snowden is to be fenced off for two years in a secure sanctuary while attempts are made to stop it leaking. It will be allowed to remain in its own territory - undisturbed by visitors. Earlier this year the notorious Welsh mountain started t...
Read full storyAnthony's Weiner to Leave Him for Another Man
NEW YORK, NY - Mayoral Candidate Anthony's Weiner has issued a press release stating "I am sick and tired of working for a dick bigger than me." He added "I will be seeking out a man who is a much smaller dick than Weiner, such as Dick Cheney, Dick B...
Read full storySpoof journalist falls foul of NSA spooks
Following reports in Thursday's Guardian, Spoof journalist Paxton Quigley was shocked to discover that he had become a victim of US security surveillance officers. He spoke to a colleague on the newsdesk about his experience and we are now exposing...
Read full storyJoan Collins Partridge Family orgy claim 'probably just a grouse started by one of the Bushes'
New York - A vile slur that Joan Collins propositioned a star of the Partridge Family TV sitcom to 'take part in an orgy' has been deleted from an autobiography amid new evidence of Bush family tongue-in-cheek mischief. Shirley Jones, who played t...
Read full storyBigfoot and I: Are we off to 'American Idol'?
1. "Bigfoots," the thing said. "That's the formal, plural, grammatically correct term you should always use regarding my species. We're Gigantapithicus apes. That's our scientific name, but you should never, ever, ever say 'Bigfeets.'" I was really surprised that Bigfoot could talk. He spoke crystal clear English and had perfect diction, too. "Too many people come out here looking for...
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