Kate Middleton furore - More nakedness exposed
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (Catherine Elizabeth "Kate"; Middleton; born 9 January 1982) the the wife of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, and a member of the British Royal Family, second in line to the thrones of the 16 Commonwealth realms is...
Read full storyConfessions of an undercover Jesuit in Mormon American Fork, Utah and how I alone will defeat Mitt Romney
I am a Roman Catholic clergyman, a Jesuit. From 1991 through the fall of 1994, I lived in American Fork, Utah, a then small, village between Salt Lake City and Provo. I was a missionary to the Mormons. I was also deeply under cover. For the first year-and-a-half my cover was that of a bar fly with my own stool at the le Sabre Lounge in American Fork, an honest to goodness bar (a private cl...
Read full storyPaps Snap Paps
The publication of topless photographs of the Duchess of York, or wherever, has caused widespread anger from the Royal family and breast enthusiasts everywhere. French magazine Closer have apparently published paparazzi photographs of the Princess...
Read full storyHow Al Qaeda Missed the Tenth Anniversary of 9/11 by a Whole Year
Wazup,Tunisia-It was a common mistake back in the day but for one Al Qaeda operative it was one mistake too many, and he can blame it all on the Millennium. Back then there was great confusion about when the new millennium began, with some celebrating on Dec 31 1999/Jan 1 2000 and others a year later. The smart money people, backed up by astro-physicists, pointed out that There is no year...
Read full storyObama admits "Abnormal fear of Clowns" in interview
TORNADO WV (ABSNN) - President Barack Obama revealed his "abnormal fear of clowns," a fear that he's suffered since early childhood. The President revealed this in a Beer Pong interview with Fr. Francois Dubois, S.J. at the Jesuit Convent of the Que...
Read full storyKate goes topless for charity!
The duchess of Cambridge (very intellectual) decided to something for charity during her holiday in France and went topless in front of the cameras and she told the ecstatic paparazzi, "chaps, all of the money earnt from flogging my photos should go...
Read full storySimon Cowell's Breakdown Fears
Simon Cowell has said that he will now take six weeks off a year to stop him from having another breakdown. The music mogul who owns property in the UK, the USA, France and half the moon is reported to have been under tremendous pressure from his wor...
Read full storyKate's Breasts - Britain's Rage
The appearance of Kate, Princess of Cambridge, topless in a French magazine has resulted in rioters destroying the French embassy in London. Banners decrying the French assault on our 'Queen to be' were waved as bricks and petrol bombs cascaded in...
Read full storyYoung royals to appear in Christmas night Strip show
The Royal Family confirmed today that young members would appear in a new BBC talent show in what has been seen as an attempt to divert the news away from recent scandals. The new late night BBC Three show named 'Strictly Striptease' will be hoste...
Read full storyFatwa Issued Against Ricky Gervais
The Catholic church has issued it's version of a Fatwa against roly-poly writer and comedian Ricky Gervais after a serious of attacks and "tweets" deriding the religion and its followers. The Vatican announced that the Pope had personally authori...
Read full storyQuentin Kelp MP - Old Knickers and a Grey Wig
Dear Constituents I have had such a hectic week and so much exciting news to tell you. But please do not put this Newsletter aside to read whilst sat on the loo or in the pub. This one needs to be read whilst seated in your most comfortable chair with the TV off and, perhaps, a cup of tea. As I mentioned in my last Newsletter I have recently decided to use disguise to conduct researc...
Read full storyBlatant self-publicist Kate flashes the flesh
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia - She's played a blinder with those holiday snaps commissioned to up her saggy, er, public profile. Sadly it's pretty much a 'two fried eggs in the loaming' kinda moment as once levelled by critics of Jerry Hall's Vagina Mon...
Read full storyTherapy is now available for disappointed iPhone 5 fans
In the wake of the massively over-hyped and under-specified iPhone 5, Apple Computers have announced that they will provide free therapy for all those consumers that have succumbed and bought one of the new devices. "We're aware of the massive cru...
Read full storyShame on you
Desert people have an inalienable trait in common: absolute obedience to the hierarchical authority. The reason is obvious: The grand warlord owned or still owns the local water well. Obey the warlord or die of thirst. The choice is all yours. Do not be mistaken to believe that only the man at the pinnacle is a tyrant. Tyranny functions according to pecking order theory. All members of such societ...
Read full storyNudity Appears To Be The New Fad For British Royals
LONDON - The British publication Ta Ta For Now News is getting ready to publish topless photographs which were allegedly taken of Kate Middleton, AKA The Duchess of Cambridge. TTFNN's Chatsworth Wiggonholt stated that Kate "The Great" as Dancing W...
Read full storyThree Huzzahs and Three 'Fuck You's for the Season Premiere of Sons Of Anarchy.
Three Huzzahs and Three 'F--k You's for the Season Premiere of Sons Of Anarchy. HUZZAH - Casting Jimmy Smitt's real-life wife Wanda De Jesus (pictured). Ladies and gentlemen, that picture was taken when Ms. De Jesus was 54. YUM! And, yes, @nicole, I know she looks like my mother. Like that doesn't creep me out. HUZZAH- Harold Perrineau, one of my top-5 favorite actors ever (wheelchair guy...
Read full storyThree Huzzahs and Three 'F--k You's for Sons Of Anarchy.
Three Huzzahs and Three 'F--k You's for the Season Premiere of Sons Of Anarchy. HUZZAH - Casting Jimmy Smitt's real-life wife Wanda De Jesus (pictured). Ladies and gentlemen, that picture was taken when Ms. De Jesus was 54. YUM! And, yes, @nicole, I know she looks like my mother. Like that doesn't creep me out. HUZZAH- Harold Perrineau, one of my top-5 favorite actors ever (wheelchair guy...
Read full storyFans told Tragedy their Fault after finding Tragedy not their Fault
After yeserdays report into the Hillsborough tragedy exposed a police cover up, the most senior serving officer at the time, Sir Norman Bettison, has issued a full and unreserved 'fuck you' to victims and their families. Now Chief Constable of Wes...
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