Kristen Stewarts' habitual swearing questioned
A journalist who recently interviewed Ms Stewart in connection with a publicity article for her recently released film "On The Road" has contacted a top behavioral therapist in despair and posed the question ,"Could Kristen Stewart have Tourette's Sy...
Read full storyMichigan To Begin Issuing Fines To Undecided Voters
LANSING, Michigan - Governor Rick Snyder speaking from his Governor's Mansion, Ethanol Estates, has just issued a governor's directive. The governor has said that he is sick and tired of hearing about all of these so called undecided voters. He...
Read full storyAustralian Opposition Leader "A Pussycat"
The wife of Australian opposition leader Tony Abbott has come out in defence of her husband who was labelled a misogynist by Prime Minister Julia Gillard in a forthright speech on Thursday. Kylie Abbott said that she was "spitting blood" after hea...
Read full storyThe NFL Cleveland Browns Are 0-5 And May Move To Anchorage, Alaska
CLEVELAND - The rumblings being heard on Lake Erie are not weather-related but football-related. The Cleveland Browns at 0-5 possess the worst won-loss record of any of the 32 National Football League teams. Owner Jimmy Haslam has said that the...
Read full storyEagles Quarterback Michael Vick Says That His New Dog Is Really Only Half Dog
PHILADELPHIA - Quarterback Michael Vick's team, the Philadelphia Eagles, is currently sitting on top of the NFL's NFC Eastern Conference with a 3-2 record. And it appears that, as usually happens with people who get in trouble, Old Mother Trouble...
Read full storyKobe Bryant Promises The Lakers Will Be This Year's NBA Champions
LOS ANGELES - The greatest Laker in the history of the Lakers organization, according to Kobe Bean Bryant, has just said that there is no way that the Lakers will not win the NBA championship this year. Kobe, speaking with Sports Balls Illustrated...
Read full storyOpus Dei procured Jimmy Savile's papal gong
London - "Just don't ask about 'what lubricants'?" a former Opus Dei zombie commented as news broke that the shadowy self-flagellation cult greased the palms that gonged up old perv Jimmy with a Pontifical Equestrian Order of St Gregory the Great kn...
Read full storyOnly His Hairdresser Knows for Sure: Brandon Spikes Tweets
Brandon Spikes (who won infamy and glory for exposing himself on a sex tape), a la Kim Kardashian back in a college sack before he joined the Patriots, offered more self-deprecating humor this week. Alas, gay liberals are not in a joking mood this...
Read full storyPaul Ryan Discusses His Many Nicknames With Piers Morgan
NEW YORK CITY - Paul Ryan appeared on Piers Morgan Tonight and right off the bat he was asked by the British host how he felt about being called Little Bunny Foo Foo. Paul turned as red as a Chattanooga cherry and then pointed out that being calle...
Read full storyPaul Ryan Talks About Martha Raddatz and The V.P. Debate
WAPAKONETA, Ohio - Paul Ryan, fresh from his Vice-Presidential Debate, pulled into Wapakoneta on his Widow's Peak Vice-Presidential Campaign Bus Tour. He spoke before a crowd of independent voters that had gathered in the parking lot of Bubba Bick...
Read full storyHoney Boo Gets Into It With Ellen DeGeneres
HOLLYWOOD - The star of TLCs Here Comes Honey Boo, Alana Thompson recently appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. The little seven-year-old in four-inch heels demonstrated to Ellen the way that she walks during her beauty pageant competitions. E...
Read full storyPaul Ryan Hints That When Romney Is Elected He'll Probably Invade Denmark
NAPOLEON, Ohio - GOP vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan was asked by GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle about the rumor floating around the Great Lakes area. The political rumor is that The Old Flip Flopper has stated that when he is elected pr...
Read full storyMitt Romney Vows That Tax Cuts Will Start With Millionaires
LANCASTER, Ohio - Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into Lancaster, Ohio, the town that was named after Lancaster, Laos. He told a crowd of semi-enthusiastic independents that if he is elected president he will keep...
Read full story