Major retailers to put out barf buckets Thanksgiving afternoon
Plymouth, Mass - Mal*Wart, JC Farthings, and Maced stores all plan to open right after millions of giant turkey dinners are consumed. Who wants to wait for Black Friday? According to Dr. Drew Upbird, medical consultant to the retail industry, con...
Read full storyKrugman, Deficit? What Deficit?
In a recent op-ed in the New York Times, liberal economist and professor of economics, Paul Krugman, blasted the so-called deficit hawks for blatant hypocrisy and even dishonesty. "It was never about the deficit," he wrote. To careful observers, such...
Read full storyPolice may have planted weapons
Gardeners have been warned to watch out for dangerous metallic objects, after a laser gun was found in a crop of potatoes in a Mansfield allotment. When officers went to investigate the plot, a 12-bore rifle was seen peeping out above a row of bee...
Read full storyEntwistle 'can go whistle for his fatcat pay-off' say angry MPs
London - Furious MPs have hit out at ex-BBC Director General of seven and a half weeks' pay-off of £450,000 in the wake of the slagging-off fiasco that smeared Lord McAlpine. George Entwistle's tax-free 'golden goodbye' cheque has been described...
Read full storySupersymmetry theories kicked into orbit!
After millions of dollars of investment the human race can relax and rest assure that "Black Holes" spinning in space are not targeting the planet earth because the Supersymmetry theory has now been kicked into orbit! Scientists working at the LHC...
Read full storyJustin Bieber 'much too young and immature' for lovely Barbara Palvin says loyal boyfriend
New York - "Back home in Budapest we have this saying," Hungarian model Kristof Somfai explained this morning, "from the outside a handsome youth may look like he's already shaving but on the inside he's still - how you say? - an unripened, er, fruit...
Read full storyRajon Rondo: Unfriended on Facebook and Unfollowed on Twitter
Tweets, tweets, everywhere, but not a friend to be had. In an age when tweeting wins you more followers than friends, Celtic leader Rajon Rondo wants to be alone. In an effort to meet the high standards of his favorite role model, Greta Garbo, Raj...
Read full storyBBC Contemplates Piers Morgan as Last Man Standing to Purge 'festering bog pit?"
Piers Moron just leaked in a Rolling Stone interview that he'd consider giving up his 'wildly' successful show in America to 'come home to roost' as head of the BBC. He was non committal when asked if he favoured Russell Brand to be the face of...
Read full storyCaroll in Wonderland
West Ham striker Lewis Caroll is currently in wonderland, experiencing the world beyond the looking glass. Although Caroll has not been hitting goals, his teammate Nolie has been putting the ball in the net. This leaves West Ham in a wonderland t...
Read full storyWorld Boxing Heavy Weight Sensation
The World Heavyweight Boxing Title Fight between Rupert 'the Rat' Murdoch and The Big Bad Corpse (named after the number of opponents laid out over the years) has taken a dramatic turn. The Big Bad Corpse (BBC) walked into a stiff upper class cut...
Read full storyThe Eskimo Igloo Problem Is Getting Worse
SNOWBALLS, Alaska - The government of Alaska has been asked by the Eskimo population of the village of Snowballs to address a situation that is becoming more and more serious. A spokesperson for Alaska's Northern Eskimos identified as Fafanook Vap...
Read full storyBaltimore Does Away With "Casual Friday"
BALTIMORE - Reports coming out of the Maryland city that is famous for its orioles have a lot of office workers quite upset and literally fit to be tied. The city council has decided to do away with the age old tradition of Casual Friday, in which...
Read full storyVermont Bans Rap Music
MONTPELIER, Vermont - The Vermont state senate has just voted on a music bill which is the first of its kind in the entire United States. Congressman Cooperton Blizzardbinster, 68, told the news media that after every state congressman received hu...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen and Bristol Palin Caught In A PDA
HOLLYWOOD - For the past few months Charlie "The Space Cadet" Sheen has managed to keep pretty much of a low profile. But all that has now gone out the window as reported by Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo. De Gallo has informed the Ameri...
Read full storyArnold Schwarzenegger Is Looking For A Maid
BEVERLY HILLS - The former governor of the Left Coast state of California, Arnold "The Player" Schwarzenegger, has just said that he is in the market for a brand new maid. The 65-year-old actor told Hacienda Dakota with Hollywood Vis-á-Vis that th...
Read full storyDynamic Duo saves New York and New Jersey in the wake of hurricane Sandy
Mayor Bloomberg sprang into action showing true leadership shortly after the hurricane. He ordered National Guard troops into action. Generator sets were deployed throughout the city of New York. Governor Christie personally oversaw the deploym...
Read full storyPetraeus Apologizes; Vows to Start Cheaters Clinic
Disgraced former CIA David Petraeus says he is so disgusted with his behavior in having an affair with his much younger beauteous biographer that he plans to start a rehab program for cheating military and intelligence community officials. "I kn...
Read full storySpoofed and Chagrined in Spoofville
Dear Spoof, please help. I went out to purchase a toaster at the local Spoof-Mart the other day. To my enlightened surprise it came with a complimentary checking account. After this exciting surprise I immediately went to the Spoof & Shop supermarket and selected numerous kinds of bread for my new device. Then I ventured over to the Spoof Bank to open the free checking account and lucky...
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