Coming Soon! The Girl's Bikini Hockey League
TULSA - First it was Women's Beach Volleyball and then came The Lingerie Football League. And now thanks to sports mogul Carson "Dollar $ign$" Esterelli, the American males will soon be gazing upon gorgeous women in The Girl's Bikini Hockey League...
Read full storyGays Say Position on Obama Evolving
Gay People have announced that their views on President Obama are "evolving" and they now think his presidency is, now that they think about it, inevitable. Vice President Joe Biden made it so Sunday, when he remarked almost casually that he had...
Read full storyBank robbed...by a gorilla, nobody saw a thing
The Dorking high street bank, Dorking High Street Bank of Dorking, was robbed on Friday morning by a daring bank robber. Although later analysis of the CCTV footage clearly showed the robber, nobody in the bank saw the robber, and the vast majority o...
Read full storyLocal Man Wins National Lottery Jackpot - But Forgets To Buy Ticket
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was today left cursing his damnable luck, after winning the National Lottery Jackpot by an absolute country mile - but forgetting to buy the required ticket in order to claim his prize. A thoroughly disgruntled Shuttl...
Read full storyEvery Game with the Celtics is an Old Timers Game
We expect that Rajon Rondo will read the classic, ageless poem entitled "Rime of the Ancient Mariner," at Kevin Garnett's 36th birthday party next week. We are not sure if Rajon Rondo (with his Nikon D 3600) has already shot the albatross hanging...
Read full storyStevie Wonder incest scam 'first reared its ugly head in 1967': reports
Los Angeles - Allegations of incest have regularly plagued Stevland Hardaway Morris ever since the 1967 Tamla Motown hit 'I was made to love her' co-written with his mother Lula Mae Hardaway. This weekend those smears are back in the news amid a s...
Read full storyAshley Olsen becomes member of LA gang
Ashley Olsen is now an official member of the prestigious Clanton 14 street gang from Los Angeles. She has a new job as an Ambassador for the oldest street gang in Los Angeles. According to her publicist Olsen joined the gang after dating one of...
Read full storyStudents Bored By Time Capsule
Students of Miss Jane Mattingway's class at Howarth Middle School got to learn this week what students were like 30 years earlier, thanks to a time capsule buried beneath the school basement. The capsule included a Rubik's Cube, excerpts from a f...
Read full storyRomney: "Suffer the little children unto me…and suffer…and suffer... and suffer!"
Mitt Romney, candidate for president of the United States, quoted from the Sermon on the Mount today in a talk to Wall Street bankers and hedge fund managers. "Well, kind of," reports Politico. "He changed the context slightly but what's the differe...
Read full storyCalling for Paper Bags for Red Sox Players, not Fans
Changes on the Red Sox are occurring faster than we can keep up with them. The pitcher with some of the worst statistics in the American League is the skinny young hotshot of the Sox pitching staff, Clay Buchholz. Having long been given safe ha...
Read full storyCoast Returns - But Where Are Alice And Miranda?
Thousands of viewers will be switching on to the lastest series of the BBC's popular Coast on Sunday fearing the show will never be the same again. According to all the previews for the first couple of episodes of series seven there will be no app...
Read full storyThe year's most potent astrological alignment to crush the Cubic Zirconia Jubilee Queen
Windsor - Sunday's Sun/Jupiter conjunction at 23 degrees Taurus is scaring the socks off the nation's Usurper Queen. The Russian-born niece of Joseph Stalin is in a terminal face-off with Our Lady of Fatima who first warned the world about Elizabe...
Read full storyPenis Bomber Thwarted at Boston's Logan Airport
BOSTON, MA ---The FBI thwarted a suspected would-be-suicide bomber scheduled to fly Laker Airways flight 666 to London's Heathrow airport. The 'man' in custody is identified as Gregory Pecker. FBI agents are still in the early stage of the investigat...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Demands To See "The Breastfeeding Mama" Son's Birth Certificate
NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh stated that just when you think you have seen it all here comes Time Magazine with a cover showing a 26-year-old woman openly breastfeeding her little 3-year-old boy who looks like he could be closer to 7. Limbaugh no...
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