Arm-A-Gideon! Gideon International and the NRA join forces!
Gideon International and the NRA announced at a joint press conference this morning plans to join forces in an international effort to pursue their interests. The Gideon's known for placing billions of bibles in hotel rooms all over the world is a C...
Read full storyLocal Man To Post Daily 'Letter From Barcelona' Providing He Actually Gets There And Can Stay Sober For Long Enough
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today announced that he intends to post daily letters from Barcelona - on condition that he actually makes the trip, and can avoid getting blind drunk on Estrella Damm, absinthe, and local wine by the bucketload. "It'...
Read full storyJesus Christ not another bloody superstar...the story so far
In-fighting and jealousy have marred ITV's new talentless show this week. The hostess - every schoolboy's wet dream - Amanda Holden - is still smarting from being usurped in Simon Cowell's affections by a dog and is showing that she is JUST a pret...
Read full storyHolidaymakers in Andalucia save five lives in one evening!
Orgiva, Espana: Brit and Dutch holidaymakers basking in the Andalucian sun and diving into their swimming pool were shaken last night as they had to suddenly put their life-saving skills into action. After their delicious, romantic meal the Brit t...
Read full storyWhat's Worse? Lin Leaves NY or Allen Leaves Boston?
New York fans are, of course, feeling that they are entitled to more righteous indignation over Jeremy Lin's departure than Boston fans should have for Ray Allen's flight south. The angst Knicks fans have worked up seems inappropriate for a rookie...
Read full storyScouts to only accept blue eyed blond youth of Aryan descent!
The Super Scouts of USA in a late night meeting yesterday voted to only accept new members who have blue eyes and blond hair. Current members who are not of this description will be asked to turn in their uniforms, merit badges, and to never give the...
Read full storyMy Senior Moments: W/E: 21st July 2012
Monday 16th July 2012 * Knees and hands much easier this wet morning. Hernia bothersome, angina okay, so a good start. * Set off on walk into town to meet Brother-in-law Pete for bus trip to Mansfield. Remembering to call at GP surgery en-route to book me CHD appointment... I thought I saw one of the receptionists smile... but I'm not certain, possibly a mild hallucination? * Met Pete, who seem...
Read full storyManchester City accused of congesting the transfer market
Manchester City, champions of England, have been accused of stifling the transfer market by Arsene Wenger, Roberto Di Mateo and Alex Ferguson. Roberto Mancini replied with "Eh?" "This is disgraceful," said Wenger. "I wished to sell Van Pepsi t...
Read full storySelected Political News for W/E 21st July 2012 - with comments
Monday 16th July 2012 Topic: Tony Blair - Politics "Tony Blair announces that he would be returning to British politics" Source: Express Extract: Blair announced that he would be returning to British politics last night to contribute to Labour policy as an adviser. The former Prime Minister, who was attending an event alongside Labour leader Ed Miliband announced that he would contribute to a...
Read full storyNottingham News: For W/E: 22nd July 2012 - With Comments
Monday 16th July 2012 Topic: Crime - Theft "Man jailed following handbag thefts" Source: Nottingham Police Extract: A 27-year-old Stapleford man has been jailed for four years in connection with three incidents where shoppers' bags were targeted, leaving one woman with a broken leg. Daniel Allsop, of Cambridge Crescent (pictured), pleaded guilty at Nottingham Crown Court on Friday (13 July 20...
Read full storyBidney Sollocks vs Cockinch-Smalls for the Spoof Chess Championship!
Following the rather embarrassing, humiliating, and farcial non-event of the Boxing Championship last week, held on board a Barbary Coast pirate boat in the Mediterranean, and licensed by the Lithuanian Boxing Federation Board, between Bidney Sollock...
Read full storyCharlton Heston Returns From The Grave To Tell People To Buy "Guns, Guns, Guns" Despite the Batman Theater Shootings
The iconic movie matinee idol Charlton Heston has risen from the dead like a neo Jesus Christ to stick up for his National Rifle Association buddies after a gunman shot 70 people, killing 12 including children, at a midnight Batman movie premiere in...
Read full storyVampire Diary Stars Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Reveal Their Secret
BUENA PARK, California - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev were recently seen walking hand-in-hand at the world famous Knotts Berry Farm. The two were dressed in matching T-shirts that read "President O For 4 Mo." I...
Read full storyDonald Trump Furious At Toupee Charge
MANHATTAN - Well, well, well, it appears that billionaire talking head Donald Trump can certainly dish it out, but he definitely cannot take it. The entertainment news agency iRumors is reporting that the man with the hairdo from hell is extremely...
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