Ecuador Human Frights activist Kerry Kennedy in a spot of DUI bother
Westchester, New York - A karmic twist has slammed the brakes on top Opus Dei apologist for Ecuador's so-called Justice [sic] Ministry who appeared before a judge on DUI charges today. Kerry Kennedy, 52, is accused of fleeing the scene of an accid...
Read full storySkimpy bikinis banned by butch Olympic lesbians
Women's beach volleyball players have been advised not to wear tight fitting bikinis at the 2012 London Olympics. Athletes in the event have worn skimpy swimwear since the sport was introduced at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. Now the change has b...
Read full storyLane Closures Now Contributing To Olympic Chaos
Unscheduled lane closures are causing another headache for London 2012 Olympic Games organisers adding to the security and logistical nightmare that has already tarnished the games with delays, tailbacks and congestion anticipated. Due to resurfa...
Read full storyBBC's 'Line Of Duty' streamed live aboard International Space Station tonight
London - "Must be the spooky facial similarity between ISS Flight Engineer Colonel Yuri Malenchenko and Line Of Duty's DS Steve Arnott," a NASA source said today as news of the broadcast link-up was announced, "it's made the the whole Station crew cr...
Read full storyRural people live longer and love longer
People who live in the country are living longer than urban dwellers - and have better sex lives, according to researchers who investigate rumours. The Wildlife Society believes that it's the greener life that delivers these benefits, but country...
Read full storyMitt Romney and The World War II Veteran
DOVER, Delaware - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into Dover, the town that claims to be the place where drinking straws were invented. Romney was asked by a gentleman who said he was 89, if he feels that he ca...
Read full storyKris "Mama" Kardashian-Jenner Cheating
BEVERLY HILLS - Kris Kardashian-Jenner, the mother of the "K-Girls" Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney reportedly is not very good at the "Cheating Game." According to Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres the 56-year-old Kardashian matriarch has be...
Read full storyPresident Obama To Fine The New Orleans Saints $10 Million
MONONGALIA COUNTY, West Virginia - President Obama was in "Mining Country" speaking before a group of 700 coal miners and their families. As he spoke in front of The Federal #2 Mine, one of the largest in the state, he said that if he had not been...
Read full storyQuasi-Rondo Auditions as Bellringer
Celtic fans wondered what Rajon Rondo had to say about the Ray Allen debacle in Boston. Many Celtic insiders have been blaming Allen's disaffection and departure on the cold shoulder Rondo often gave him during the games and at dinner. The resp...
Read full storyDon know! 'tis God's Power
Knowledge like vaccination stimulates the mind and helps man reach advancement. Swindlers, modern or old, can easily deceive a superficial mind. Kazim, an Afghan, is a good example of 21st century vandalism. Presently, he is a refugee, hiding in the niches of a small construction site with zero identity documents to escape extortion or deportation. He, 33/34, claims to have at least a wif...
Read full storyBidney Sollocks vs Cockinch-Smalls battle for Commonwealth Spoofing Championship
While the Amir Khan vs Danny Garcia, and David Haye vs Dereck Chisora fights were capturing the attention of the pugalist's world, an unnoticed World Championship match was under-way in the Mediterranean. Bidney Sollocks (56 but looks younger) fro...
Read full story'J.D. Drew Flu' Strikes Out the Red Sox
David Ortiz looked into his crystal ball and pronounced, "it can't get no worse," after dropping three out of four games to the dreaded New York Yankees. Then baseball gods found his Achilles' heel. It just got worse, Big Papi. If Ortiz starts put...
Read full storyG4S: New Move
Following the success of privatisation 'in so many spheres' the Government has organised a contract with G4S to run Government business. 'It could hardly be worse than the present shambles' said an insider, speaking to Spoof from inside Downing Stree...
Read full storyNew Radical Plan for the NHS
In what was termed 'a logical step' the Coalition Government is going to expand the Big Society into the Health Service. Explaining the dynamic programme Andrew Lansley, Health Secretary said 'We shall gradually be replacing hospital staff by volu...
Read full storySquatter camps on the streets of London 2012...
Stratford, LONDON: In the tunnel at Stratford Railway Station, entrance gate for the London 2012 Olympics venue, there is a busker singing just like Ralph McTell, the old tune the 'Streets Of London'. Let us listen to those words; Have you seen the military men In the closed-down market on Green Street Kicking up the paper, with his worn out Army boots? In his eyes you see no pride for...
Read full storyQuentin Kelp MP - Smut and Blue Tits
Dear Constituents That was a hectic weekend. Sorry for the late post but my server was down. There was only one notable weekend success worth reporting and it will do little for my re-election chances, but I photo might appear in the Krupton News. I won the Three Legged Race at Saturday afternoon's Church Fete. Technically, I suppose, it was a partnership of two but the win will clea...
Read full storyPound shop security guards to fill in at the Olympics
With G4S's massive shortfall in security personnel for the Olympics, pound shops up and down the nation have given permission for their security guards to step in and fill the breach. "They're very good," said Quid Pro Quo owner, Jeremy Stirling.
Read full storyLast Night of the Proms to be performed by the Brackley High School Orchestra
In a break with tradition stretching back over ten years, the London Philharmonic Orchestra will not be performing their rousing numbers at the climax to the Proms, The Last Night of the Proms. Instead, Brackley High School Orchestra will take to the...
Read full storyJohn Terry To Be Appointed UK Goodwill Ambassador
After recently being cleared of a trumped up aggravated racial abuse charge, John Terry, the former England football captain, has been nominated to take on the role of UK Goodwill Ambassador. Terry's nomination is believed to have cross party supp...
Read full storyFur-lined parkas this season's hottest look
London fashion week has been stunned by the range of summer gear from the fashionistas of Europe when the catwalk models paraded down the catwalk in thick fur-lined parkas. "It's a great look," said Gok Wan, who was at the Fashion show showing off...
Read full storyBudget Airline Boss to Reduce Border Control Queues
Irish budget airline mogul Mick O'Really is set to solve the UK border control crisis with his latest venture. His new 'Pay and Arrive' scheme is set to dramatically reduce queues at London's Heathrow airport this summer. Executive of Pay and Ar...
Read full storySuri Cruise To Become Samantha Cruise
NEW YORK CITY - Katie Holmes has made no bones about the fact that she has always hated her daughter Suri's first name. Holmes recently spoke with Tafetta Kixx of iRumors and informed her that she is planning on legally changing her daughter's nam...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Wants To Be An American Idol Judge
SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen says that his days of being a "Space Cadet" are over. He stated that he is thrilled with the success of his brand new comedy show Anger Management. When asked by Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors if his days of being a "La...
Read full storyAnderson Cooper Planning A Labor Day Wedding
NEW YORK CITY - Anderson Cooper the latest well-known celebrity to come out of the 'closet' has just announced that he will be getting married over the Labor Day holidays. Cooper stated that he and his future husband, wife [pick one] will be excha...
Read full storyBeing Attacked By A Horde Of Blood Maddened Zombies Is Not Fun
Hello folks. How are things going for you? That's good. At the moment I am hold up in an abandoned farmhouse in the Midwest. I have it boarded up and sealed off as much as possible. I don't do this normally. It's just that present conditions demand it. (Crashing sounds coming from background) "Aaaaaarrrrhhhh! !!!!! Grrrr!!!!" Excuse me a moment please. "DIE, CREATURE...
Read full storyJohn Terry 'not a threat' to London Olympics
A newspaper editor has apologised today after a typo error suggested that the behaviour of Chelsea footballer John Terry was a threat to the well being of the London 2012 Olympics. The headline should have read 'terror threat' referring to Al Quai...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 17th July 2012
Liverpool striker Andy Carroll, 23, has told his representatives to secure him a return to Newcastle. (from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle) But the Reds will seek to recoup at least £20m from the sale of Carroll this summer, a valuation that will sorely test Newcastle's aspirations to re-sign the England striker (The Guardian) I can imagine the conversation now - Liverpool: "We want £20 mi...
Read full storyThe Movie Political Cars Hits Box Offices this Weekend
Hollywood CA: Cars was a computer animated comedy/adventure film produced by Pixar in 2006 for Disney Studios. Cars takes place in a world populated entirely by transportation vehicles exhibiting human qualities and employs the voices of Hollywood st...
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