Candy Thief Arrested and Thrown into Jail
Recently, Mr. Butterfinger® from Chocolate Ville wondered what the Whichamacallit® was lying by the Dots® on 5th Avenue®. Help arrived when the 3 Musketeers® jumped in to investigate, but crying interrupted them as Baby Ruth®...
Read full storyReview: More Existential Books
Just when I thought I'd finished reading all of the Existential books my grandfather had bequeathed me, it turned out I'd read nothing, and there was the box, full to the brim with books I'd not read. Having previously enjoyed reading the last lot of books I no longer had, I thought I'd give the new box a good seeing to. Armed with nothing more than a million candle storm lantern I had liberate...
Read full storyFloodgates may open in USA as possible release of Nixon's Testimony is announced
A Federal Judge in Washington has ordered the release, 40 years after the fact, of hundreds of pages of President Nixon's testimony from 1975. On hearing of the possibility of the release of this testimony, many people went into hiding others made...
Read full storyQueen Boudica's magical sapphire ring found in Yorks turnip field
York - A pure gold, sapphire and glass jewel found by local metal detecting enthusiasts has been identified as the signet ring of the legendary Iceni warrior Queen Boudica. The stunning artefuct once mesmerised a Roman Legion which subsequently pe...
Read full storySachin Tendulkar blames Monty Panesar for lack of runs
Indian batsman Sachin Tendulkar is blaming English spin bowler Monty Panesar for his continuing bad run. The turbanned tweaker, has also been fined by the English management for bowling to the 'little master' in the nets at Lords. "We did not g...
Read full storyThe Illuminati made me do it sobs Glenn Mulcaire
London - Accusations that the NewsCorpse private investigator was an Establishment puppet were vehemently denied this weekend by gargoyle-faced Glenn Mulcaire. Named after a notorious Scottish phishing lodge on the banks of Loch Ness the disgraced...
Read full story'Trashy' Zara in fake tan riddle
Edinburgh - Z-Listers' sartorial frock-horror plummeted new depths on Friday as Zara Phillips took centre stage in an asymmetrical fake tan and mini-dress combo. The one-shouldered tie-dye gown was casually draped over a part-tanned torso revealin...
Read full storyBritish Scientists Earn Their Bread and Butter?
An One year study by British scientists into why a dropped slice of buttered bread always seems to hit the floor on the buttered side has been 'successfully' completed after the team of scientist involved came up with an explanation acceptable to th...
Read full storyReview: My Existential Book Collection
I recently came into possession of my grandfather's collection of existential books. The first book, entitled Something from Nothing was three hundred blank pages. I think that is my favourite. It's the kind of book you can dip into and get a good vibe off every page. I had to stop reading We do not Exist on account of my slowly fading from existence as I got to page fifty. I fear had I carr...
Read full storyAmerica Falls Off a Cliff
American financial markets are in a frenzy as the country slips into deficit. 'We can't pay you' notices have gone out to all Government employees and the country is coming to a halt as half the population stop working. News of the disaster ha...
Read full storyGeoff Boycott said his granny could bat better than Sachin Tendulkar
Forthright Yorkshireman Geoff Boycott has laughed off claims that Sachin Tendulkar is the Indian Don Bradman. Gritty batsman Boycott, who was dropped from the England team in 1967 after grinding out 106 in a day against the Indians, has never been...
Read full storyUSA's bra size may be reduced to AA
For many years, the USA has had the largest bra of any country with a whopping AAA bra size. (When measuring the bra size of a country, you measure from above the nipple, so AAA is the largest size, CCC is the smallest). But recent cash problems h...
Read full storyHell On Sale Now
Today Satan foreclosed on the entire world of Hell, also known as the underworld, claiming it's upkeep was too much. Satan blames the economy for the loss. This is a sad day for all Satanist's out there but a great victory for the Christians, who...
Read full storyObama Announces New GM Spin Off, Rubber Band Motors (RBM) to Meet His New MPG Edict!
In a two part announcement sure to impact on the American economy, President Barry Obama first shocked the US automotive world with his new edict demanding all auto manufactures produce fleet economies of 54.1 MPH by 2025, up from the current 27.5...
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