Republicans make last ditch effort to woo halfwits
Polls today show that while die hard Republicans will continue to blindly vote the party line, the important swing demographic, "idiots whose idea of investigating an issues is watching a TV commercial" are now tending to the left.
Read full storyKen's crackpot Caracas crack caper comes a cropper
Havana, Cuba - (Associated Mess): It's official. The Mayor of London's cheap Xmas crack deal with President Chavez of Venezuela has fallen at the first hurdle after a 100+ tonne consignment of Santa's little helper powders had to be abort...
Read full storyBorat a "Liar, Hoax and Fraud," Investigation Shows
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A classified report from the Department of Homeland Security just given to the Washington Post shows that the deceptions behind Kazakh journalist Sagdiyev Borat's political machinations are much deeper than previously thought...
Read full storyEvangelicals regret being such dicks towards Clinton
As the world looks on for signs of hypocrisy in the aftermath of the Ted Haggard scandal, many church leaders regret the dickish "holier-than-thou" attitude adopted towards Bill Clinton's lesser indiscretions.
Read full storySaddam Demands Appeal, New Trial, Venue Change
Saddam Hussien, found guilty this week of mutliple violations in an Iraqi court, has demanded an appeal. Lawyers for Hussien issued the following statement: "Our client is innocent. He demands the right to prove his innocence. We demand a cha...
Read full storyBill Gates Adopts Madonna (and child)
The controversy surrounding Madonna, over the adoption of a Malawian baby, took an unexpected twist when Bill Gates became involved in the proceedings.
Read full storyBritney Spears Pregnant Again
Britney Spears, former pop queen and media personality, has announced that she is expecting another child (her fifth in the last two years). The musician/actress and her husband, Kevin Federline, are reported to be excited by the news.
Read full storyRepublicans to Hold on to House, Regardless of Mid-Term Election Outcome, Study Shows
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite widespread gloom-and-doom forecasts, Republican members of the U.S. Congress will hold on to their house, regardless of the mid-term election outcome, a newly released study by the Cato Institute.
Read full storyHussein to Suffer Fate Worse than Death
In a change to the original decision made at the trial into his atrocities and war-crimes, the former Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein, may now be made to face a fate worse than death.
Read full storyShocking Leaked Medical Documents on Fox News Staff
New York, NY -- On Saturday, November 4, an internet blogging site posted dozens of confidential medical documents stolen from the Fox News network's corporate offices. The documents reveal shocking facts about the physical health of the Fox News...
Read full storyActor Bruce Campbell Declares "War on Mediocrity"
LOS ANGELES-- In the most shocking spat of bloodshed to hit "Tinseltown" since Mickey Rourke's last plastic surgery, dozens of prominent Hollywood players have been savagely murdered in the past week. The list of victims includes direct...
Read full storyThe Lord's Instrument admits: "It stinks"
Colorado Springs, Colorado - (ReUterus): In a highly charged emotional address, disgraced homophobe and sacked ex-leader of the National Evanelical Association Pastor Ted Haggard has admitted a lifelong problem. Staring at an autographed personal ph...
Read full storyFlorida Fearful of Election Results Again
The state of Florida, fearful of possible election fraud or suspicious and questionable results, has taken the drastic steps to insure accuracy in voting. In the 2000 elections, Florida's vote win was declared multiple times for each party before...
Read full storyThird Party Candidates Sweep Republicans and Democrats in Off Year Elections
WASHINGTON (AP) Taking all the political pundits by complete surprise, third party candidates all across the country were swept into office on Tuesday. Democrat and Republican leaders were shocked to learn that neither one of their parties were going...
Read full storyGuinea Pig Ranching Sweeps Detroit Area
DETROIT (AP) -- Former autoworker Ralph Rodentia had always kept a few guinea pigs around the house for his kids to play with while he earned a big salary working on the General Motors assembly line.
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