NewYou Inc. Offers NewHeart, NewBrain and NewLiver Therapies With Stem Cells
KALAMAZOO (Reuters) -- NewYou Inc. is a new organ replacement company which offers several innovative therapies based on adult stem cell research.
Read full storyWhore on Terra: Queen's Speech promises US State Visit
House of Lords, London - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): An official royal Whore on Terra State Visit to the United States is in the pipeline for next year according to plans laid out before Parliament in the Queen's Speech today.
Read full storyImmigrant Steals Area Man's job
SAN ANTONIO (The Surreal Press) - When John Hanks, San Antonia resident and carpenter, arrived at work early yesterday morning he found his job had been stolen during the night. According to security tapes an unknown man entered the residential cons...
Read full storyDancing with the Stars to Replace Monday Night Football on ESPN
STORRS, Conn. - ESPN has bought the rights to ABC's Dancing with the Stars and will immediately begin broadcasting it in place of Monday Night Football, says ESPN president George Bodenheimer.
Read full storyRings of Fame: How Paris Hilton Got Your Fifteen Minutes of Fame
SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Elbert Stuckey of Vacaville, California, knew his PDA was missing -- but he didn't know where it had gone, and he didn't know what would happen while the thieves had it. Elbert, one of the fortunate few, got his electron...
Read full storyJanet Jackson to Play Super Bowl XLI
FOX, in a bold move which will either send their ratings sky-rocketing into the stratosphere or get them slapped with a half billion dollar FCC fine hired Janet Jackson to perform live at next year's Super Bowl half-time show.
Read full storyBig Pharma Announces Antidote For Acetaminophen
Jersey City, NJ -- Ever ready to take advantage of a competitor's woes, Big Pharma has announced a "new" Aspirin tablet that will be loaded up with micro-magnets.
Read full storyWhy David Letterman isn't funny
* The late show top ten list * Paul Schafer * Chronic cirrhosis * Loves too much * Bill Oreilly felafel'd his funny bone * CBS owned by reptillian-like creatures with no sense of humour * He doesn't tell jokes, he just says things, and people laugh cause there stupid * The cbs orchestra not a real orchestra * Conan and Leno pissed on a...
Read full storyDoctors Prescribe Satire For Terminally Ill
DURHAM NC--In a scene straight out of the movie, "Patch Adams," or a chapter in Norman Cousin's 1979 seminal classic, Anatomy of An Illness, doctors at Duke and UNC Hospitals have begun prescribing satire to patients with termina...
Read full storyBritney's Toddler Crawls Away from Home
"i've HAD'd it wif MAMA!" 14 month old Sean Federline told one of the developers of Sony's new Baby Translator now being test marketed in Japan. Ethan Stone, demonstrating Sony's groundbreaking device at LA...
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