Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, joins Bill Oreilly in War on Gangster Rap
Everyone's favourite Islamic radical/head of state, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (President of Iran) today made a shocking speech at the Vatican. No one remembered exactly what he said, nor did anyone take him seriously; but I sort of got the gist of it.
Read full storyNew Study Shows Docs Addicted
New York -- A major study published in JAMMIES (Journal of American Medical Malpractice in Emergency Situations) has shown that 5 million lives could be saved each year if the specialists called in could tear themselves away from the TV in t...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Demands Private Viewing of Britney-Kevin Sex Tape
WASHINGTON (AP) - President George Bush has declared that the Britney Spears-Kevin Federline sex tape is "a security risk" and has demanded that he and Dick Cheney and other selected Republicans be allowed to view it.
Read full storyNo White House For Rudy Giuliani
Wall Street Kernel - While Rudy Giuliani may seriously entertain ambitions of running for President of the United States, the reality is: no way. It isn't because he failed to take on formidable opponent Hillary Clinton for the U. S. Senate, but...
Read full storyJK Rowling flees terror cops raid
London (Associated Mess): Serial plagiarist and record-holding self-publicist wannabe-author JK Rowling fled her Kensington mansion early today after being tipped off that the Met's SO19 Serious and Organised Crimes Agency was about to bust her...
Read full storyGrave twist as Wiccans threaten November 15 hex on White House warmongers
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): The Wiccans' tombstones fight is getting dirty at the US District Court in Madison and the US Appeals Court in Washington DC as a group of enraged pagans vowed today to hex the hell out of warmongering creationi...
Read full storyRoman's ship thrills archaeologists
Cowes, Isle of Wight - (Associated Mess): British archaeologists are said to be thrilled at recent UK marine police reports that a yacht - the Pal Horus - belonging to dodgy Russian oligarch and Chelsea football club owner Roman Abramovich has been i...
Read full storyFBI, CIA Split, Citing Irreconcilable Differences
Washington -- Hollywood has no patent on contentious (vicious, even) breakups. DC can show "The Wood" a thing or two when it comes to bitter splits.
Read full storySchool Librarian Turns Into Witch
CURDLED MILK-NC, In a scene reminiscent to mild mannered David Banner turning into the green, Incredible Hulk, a librarian in a local middle school today turned into a witch. Everyone who knows the librarian was shocked to hear about the incident.
Read full storyFIFA Scales Back 2007 World Cup to Limit On and Off Field Violence
ZURICH - Violence on the field and hooliganism off of it have led FIFA to radically scale back the format, the game and the venues for the 2007 FIFA World Cup football championships. The major changes include having more teams but playing shortened...
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