US Teaches Iraqi Soldiers To "Geek" Frogs, Chickens
BAGHDAD - The Defense Department has recruited hundreds of American carnival "geeks" to instill courage in the fledgling Iraqi Army, according to U.S. military sources.
Read full storyFEMA proposes crisis WiFi satire network
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): FEMA, the Department of Homeland Insecurity's emergency division, has proposed a national satire wireless broadband network to give the emergency services a jolly good laugh when the Bush Administration is unceremoniou...
Read full storySpecial Ed-E-torial: Britney Spears Wants A Shoulder To Cry On? Try mine!
(New York--NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. It's the Special Ed-E-torial! Or as we like to call it: "The one where we give Britney Spears a Shoulder To Cry On."...
Read full storyQueen's Solstice fears as Monarchy proclaimed in Poland
'ucking 'em Palace, London - (Ass Mess): The Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon has confirmed disturbing reports that Queen Elizabeth is frantic with worry over ancient Biblical prophecies coming home to roost on her Yuletide doorstep after He...
Read full storyTerror Group Claims To Be Behind Britain's Pea Souper
A hitherto unknown terror group "Misty Action Warriors" is claiming that it is behind the dense fog that is causing havoc all over Britain.
Read full storyWW2 Veterans gather to celebrate VD Day
There were emotional scenes in London today, as many WW2 veterans gathered in the city centre to celebrate VD Day.
Read full storyYuletide birth mysteries: two-wombed triplets' mother keeping mum on how many vaginas
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): A local two-wombed Devon woman, a Mrs Kersey, has made hystery by giving birth to triplets in a rare 25 million-to-one gestation that has stunned scientists during this annual miraculous virgin birth season.
Read full storyUri Geller charged with attempting to murder his own cock
Scotland Yard last night confirmed that deadbeat, alcoholic, has been, Uri Geller, had been charged with attempted murder, following the botched assassination of his own cock.
Read full storyDuracell Bunny sacked after testing positive for steroids
A spokeswoman from Duracell, today confirmed that the company has sacked the Duracell Bunny after testing positive for steroids and other controlled substances on the film set of their latest commercial.
Read full storyDarth Vader And Green Cross Man Locked In Legal Tussle
Following on from the recent Procul Harum court case, sensational news today that the Green Cross Man, real name Dave Prowse, is to sue Darth Vader, real name Dave Prowse for 50% of his joint royalties.
Read full storySt Nick Nicked!
A man appeared in Lewisham crown court today to answer charges of housebreaking and resisting arrest.
Read full storyDerek's Christmas Carol's Been Rumbled
Derek Acorah, the only TV psychic whose name rhymes with a tasty Indian starter, is at it again.
Read full storyRosie O'Donnell challenges Donald Trump to a duel
Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump got into a war of the words on Wednesday trading insults and barbs.
Read full storyFree-lance Satirist Under Treatment Over Obssession With "Uri Geller's Penis"
LONDON - Freelance humorist "Breeze" is in rehab for obsessive-compulsive disorder after writing dozens of satirical articles featuring "Uri Geller's penis."...
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