Written by Breeze

Thursday, 21 December 2006

image for St Nick Nicked!
Book 'im, Danno

A man appeared in Lewisham crown court today to answer charges of housebreaking and resisting arrest.

The court was told that Mr Chris Cringle, of 32 Toymaker's cottage, the North Pole, was arrested on Christmas eve after being found trying to enter a house through the chimney.

"I saw the defendant acting suspiciously on the roof of a house on Fathersham Rd," Constable Bob Bigot told the court. "He was clearly inebriated and, when searched, I found him to be in possession of bolt cutters, a screwdriver and a pair of pliers."

Constable Bigot continued, "When I questioned him about the items, Mr Cringle became belligerent and tried to run away.So I had to duff him up a bit."

Mr Cringle, who lists his occupation as 'Toymaker' told the court that he was trying to get into the house to deliver a package, however, when pressed by Judge Justice Ringpiece, he was unable to remember who lived in the house or what was in the package.

George Slipknot, defending Mr Cringle said, "My client is normally of good standing in the community, in fact he is a saint. This behaviour is totally out of character and he has assured me that he is embarrassed by the incident."

Judge Ringpiece, however, sentenced the Jolly, fat man to be hung by the neck until he was sorry.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Santa




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