Jewish "Snowflake" Wins Christmas Costume Contest
New Orleans transplant and Jew, Alison Acorn won the annual Christmas costume contest in Durham today. Acorn, owner of the Durham Glitter Works, won the contest dressed as a Jewish snowflake. Imagine Phyllis Diller meets Swan Lake meets Frosty the Sn...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Recruits Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan for Iraq "Beaver Patrol"
WASHINGTON (AP)-- Desperate to stop the Iraqi civil war and to beef up the morale of US troops, President Bush has recruited Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan to take part in a "beaver patrol" of that war-torn country.
Read full storyMove Over God Hop It Darwin There's A new Kid On The Block
Stand aside Darwin and put 'God created the heaven and the earth' on hold, because today there is a third theory to contend with. Dave Willis from Bognor, makes the staggering claim that life on Earth started as a result of inter-galactic travelle...
Read full storyEd-E-torial Number 5: George Bush and Homey Vladimir Putin, A Hunting Dick Cheney Goes & Vioxx Still
(New York--NY) It's Ed-E-torial #5. Or as we like to call it: "The one where Ed admits his dark secret."...
Read full storyMcCartney vies for title of nation's greatest living con artist
London - (Associated Mess): It's a close run contest and the race is definitely on to find the winner of the ultimate Con Artist of the Century Award.
Read full storyIt's Not All Smillies On the Set Of Strictly Come Dancing
It's murder on the dance floor as today news emerges about a behind the scenes row involving one of the stars of BBC's hit Saturday night spectacular Strictly Come Dancing.
Read full storySanta Claus Arrested
Santa Claus has been arrested under the USA Patriot Act after people reported a heavily bearded man seen flying last night around the rooftops of Washington DC suburban neighbourhoods, 3 miles from the White House.
Read full storyPeter Pan of Pop In Amazing On-Stage Punch-Up
Fans of 'well preserved' pop star, Cliff Richard, are reeling today after an extraordinary incident that happened on-stage last night at London's Royal Albert Hall.
Read full storyRoyal Pardon frees Yorkshire Ripper, sex offenders in time for Xmas
London - (Associated Mess): Downing Street's latest popularity initiative has given a Royal Pardon to the Yorkshire Ripper and an estimated 50,000 serial sex offenders currently languishing at Her Majesty's Pleasure in overcrowded penal colon...
Read full storyPop Group Oasis Make Extraordinary Claim - Trigger Right Barney
Noel Gallagher, one half of those two Manc gits who call themselves Oasis, has angered the entire World by claiming that Oasis "Are bigger than the Beatles"...
Read full storyThe FAA and Homeland security ban Santa Claus from domestic airspace
In a surprise move today The Federal Aviation Administration and Homeland Security joined forces to unilaterally deny domestic air space clearance to the traditional Christmas Eve sleigh ride by Santa Claus.
Read full storyClark Gable Weighs in on Hollywood Underwear Controversy
Commuters in Grand Central Station were startled last night to see Clark Gable giving a press conference at the main ticket booth.
Read full storyGod Signed To Coach Losing Tarheel Football Team
The University of North Carolina signed none other than God to coach the struggling Tarheels football team. In the gospel of John Bunting, the Tarheels lost nine games this season and played all season long as if they actually had tar on their heels...
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