McCartney vies for title of nation's greatest living con artist

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 2 December 2006

image for McCartney vies for title of nation's greatest living con artist
McCartney is Top of the Pops - like his heyday

London - (Associated Mess): It's a close run contest and the race is definitely on to find the winner of the ultimate Con Artist of the Century Award.

Top of the pops, at 5/4 favorite, is Paul McCartney who has consistently claimed being the actual songwriter who wrote such classics as Hey Jude, Let It Be, She Loves You, etc.

And then, of course, Mull of Kintyre.

Next, 2nd favorite at 6/4, is restaurateur and giant self-publicist style guru Sir Terence Conran whose myriad catering schemes have kept the Met's Serious Fraud Squad in stitches for over fifteen years. Literally - ask any Central London A & E department.

Sharing the 2nd favorite's 6/4 slot is serial plagiarist, and Gordon Brown sycophant, Ms J K Rowling, whose claims of being the author of all seven Harry Potter stories continues to delight copyright lawyers the world over.

Then at 2/1 we have Sir David Attenborough, the amateur wildlife expert impersonator whose technique in raking in BBC licence-payers £££s has been admired by the world over for its sheeer bravado.

Spread betting index however has noted on its website that no Contest of the Century could be complete without the ultimate fantasy-league Married Couple Class Act.

But it has had to close the book on this particular wager after being inundated with a pre-Xmas cash rush which saw hundreds of millions of pounds pile on to bets for Tony and Cherie Blair.

"Somebody clearly knows something", said a spokesman for the bookies, "we can't afford to take any more cash on this one without renewing our bankruptcy insurance at Lloyds - and they're refusing already having piled on along with everybody else in the city at 20/1 ON for this particular accolade winning".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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