It's murder on the dance floor as today news emerges about a behind the scenes row involving one of the stars of BBC's hit Saturday night spectacular Strictly Come Dancing.
Show sources tell of bitter back-stage wrangling going on and things look set to get ugly.
Unfeasibly pleasant Carol Smillie is reported to be on the point of walking out as allegations mount that she is in fact a bad tempered miserable old bat.
Fellow celebrity Matt Dawson told The Spoof:
"She's a piece of work all right and I don't fancy crossing her. Last week after little Bruno had 'dissed' her routine; the Gorbels Growler kicked him right in the nadgers. He had to go to A&E"
Veteran all rounder and the show's host Bruce Forsyth, a man known in the business as Mr Nice commented:
"Carol's a right mardy bitch. I told her that I thought she was doing very well in the show and she told me to "Piss off you stupid old codger" Before adding, "And by the way, what do you think you look like in that wig?" said the put-out song and dance man and Sammy Davis Junior wannabee.
It's believed that Smillie was instrumental in getting rid of Michael Grade from TV Centre last week and that if she doesn't win the show outright, then she's threatened to close the entire corporation down within an hour of being voted off the programme.
BBC insiders say that she's got top executives at the corporation running scared and they aren't too sure how to end things for the best.
