
Jackson Slams Vicious 'Gossip'
Pop Diva Michael Jackson has blasted reports that he is a cross-dresser. The Brunette bombshell went into hiding last night as the flurry of media attention peaked when paparazzi burned down his Neverland Ranch Mansion in an effort to ‘smoke him o...
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Uncle Jacques Wants YOU!
Paris, France Today, in a nationally televised appeal, Jacques Chirac, President of France, issued an urgent message to all Americans currently in...
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Phish Retires; U.S. Employment Figures Plummet
60,000 new job seekers spontaneously appear in Vermont following blowout concert...
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Famine Victims Can't Believe Some Of The Crap Food Aid That's Thrown At Them
Starving men, women and children of famine-stricken regions of Africa have been voicing their growing dissatisfaction over the content of food aid that the UN and other independent aid agencies are currently administering to them to alleviate their h...
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Revelation: Adam and Eve were Irish
Garden of Eden, Ireland - Anthropologist, Dr. Devin O'Hara of the Smithsonian Institute has uncovered viable evidence that supports the long held belief, that Ireland is truly "God's Country" and the birthplace of all that is good and human.
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Bush bids for Popeye's arms on ebay
IN AN MOVING emergency address to the nation, President George W Bush last night dropped a bombshell on his fellow Americans when he delivered the news that he has purchased cartoon superstar Popeye's arms to aid against the war on global terror.
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Anti-Rape Condom Superceded by Vaginal Land Mine
Capetown, South Africa (Wreiters) - After a South African inventor unveiled a new anti-rape female condom on Wednesday, arms manufactuer Denel announced its "even more lethal vaginal land mine." According to Denel spokesperson Gunner Downs,...
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Paris Hilton Tells Her Side of the Story!
Paris (AFP) Paris Hilton, heiress to several valuable Monopoly hotel properties, has recently tried to set the record straight about the many incorrect things written about her. She spoke to reporters gathered just outside of the Paris Hilton Hotel w...
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George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"
WASHINGTON (AP)-President George Bush returned from the fourth Summit of the Americas held in Mar del Plata, Argentina on Monday with his tail between his legs, stung at being called "human trash" by Argentine soccer legend Diego Maradona, and called...
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Carey to Own Worlds First G.M Dog
Singing Sensation and Pop Diva Mariah Carey has announced that she will become a proud mother this week of a new breed of dog. The multimillion selling artist has broken with tradition and asked for the help of genetic engineers to create the uniq...
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Death Row Inmate Re-Captured, Shocked using Pay Phone
Shreveport -- Death Row Inmate Charlie Thompson was recaptured today in Shreveport Louisiana. But there's no need to electrocute him. He reportedly got the "shock of his life," when police showed up as he talked on a pay phone outside...
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Hurricane Hugo Hits Mar Del Plata
Caracas, Venezuela and Mar Del Plata, Argentina-Hugo Chavez appears to have been watching a lot of American movies, particularly creepy horror flicks, it seems, since he has been issuing government decrees to the effect that "the sky is falling."
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Clinton Denies Affair Was 'Revenge'
Hilary Clinton has blasted accusations that her ‘fling' with Cherie Blair was just an attempt to extract revenge on her husband for his infidelity. Speaking publicly for the first time the First Lady swore she would track down whoever started the...
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