Mission Control: Shuttle Repairs Likely to Go Over Written Estimate
SPACE CENTER, Houston - Discovery astronaut and mobile mechanic Stephen Robinson disappointed Mission Control last week by announcing that the damage to the ship's thermal tile belly was more extensive than first thought and immediately re...
Read full storyPat Robertson Prays, God Smacks Lynyrd Skynyrd
Pat Robertson, who has recently prayed away a hurricane and single…um…double-handedly prayed at least one conservative Supreme Court nominee within inches of the Court, had a divine misfire this week and accidentally smote Lynyrd Skynyrd. "I was aimi...
Read full storyCindy Sheenan orders President Bush to dismantle NASA
Cindy Sheehan, unsuccessful in her attempt to get President Bush to pull all troops out of Iraq and shut down the military as we know it today issued a new ultimatum .. "Dismantle NASA or else". CNN reporters asked Mrs Sheehan what "o...
Read full storyVerifying the Gender of Santa Claus
In November of 1998, I received a very disturbing e-mail. It had been forwarded several times, so there was no way to point to the original author or origin. I would like to quote that e-mail in it’s entirety, and then add my own comments: He’s a She...
Read full storyThe First Date With My Wife, or My Way of Saying "None of Your Business" to My Friends
I once went out to dinner and a movie with a very attractive and fun woman. It was a first date for the two of us and my first date in over a year. Several church and message board friends who knew of my date had asked me to e-mail them the results and tell them how everything went. What they really wanted to know, in teenage boy terms, was "what base did you get to?" With my p...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie is new Queen of Cambodia
LIN DI LOO, Cambodia -- Cambodia's king has declared actress Angelina Jolie Queen of Cambodia for her conservation work in the poverty-stricken country and the king is encouraging other Hollywood stars to come to Cambodia and give lots of money...
Read full storyHopelessly Inept Survivor Contestants Selected
Hollywood -- Desparate for ratings, Survivor producer Mark Burnett and host Jeff Probst today announced that 16 "hopelessly inept" contestants were selected for Survivor Guatemala. According to an inside source at CBS, not one of the cont...
Read full storyNo Clowns Please, We're British...
Glastonbury Tor is being used as the global headquarters of a bizarre cult which aims to eradicate clown activity in the UK by 2015.
Read full storyWorld's Worst Actors to Appear in Movie Together
Listing Madonna, Keanu Reeves, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Anna Nicole Smith, and Adam Sandler together as a film cast might assure a film director of good box office, but it does not guarantee any acting awards. These pseudo actors, and s...
Read full storyLaura Bush and Hillary Clinton Join Cindy Sheehan's Protest While George Bush Uses Helicopter
CRAWFORD, TEXAS (AP)-The protest by Cindy Sheehan against the Iraq war outside of the ranch of President George W. Bush grew much more complicated on Friday as the grieving mother was joined by First Lady Laura Bush and Senator Hillary Clinton who bo...
Read full story'Guilty on All Counts' Saddam Receives 'Mega-Death' Sentence
BAGHDAD, IRAQ-Saddam Hussein, the recently deposed dictator of Iraq, hirsute hegamon, that vicious violator of human rights everyone loves to hate is about to become even more famous-or infamous, depending on how you look at it. Jurors in his ‘high c...
Read full storyBush Says Cindy Sheehan is "Insurgent" with Weapons of Mass Destruction
CRAWFORD, TX - In an unscheduled press conference, President Bush said his administration has uncovered "new intelligence" about Cindy Sheehan.
Read full storyBush Sympathizes With Anti-War Protestor Cindy Sheehan
CRAWFORD, Texas-- The roadside antiwar vigil of Cindy Sheehan who lost a son in the Iraq war continued near the 16,000 acre ranch of George Bush, and it has drawn the sympathy of the American President. "It is just awful what we are doing in Iraq,...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Parent's Divorce To Be Nasty
Hempstead, New York---Lindsay Lohan, multi-talented star of "The Parent Trap" and "Mean Girls," and media icon to all sorts of Little Ladies, Young Women, Wild Child Dreamers, Hyped Up Everyday Wannabes and Teenage Drama Queens, is suffering through...
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