Written by jd Balderdash

Friday, 12 August 2005

image for Cindy Sheenan orders President Bush to dismantle NASA

Cindy Sheehan, unsuccessful in her attempt to get President Bush to pull all troops out of Iraq and shut down the military as we know it today issued a new ultimatum .. "Dismantle NASA or else". CNN reporters asked Mrs Sheehan what "or else" meant, to which she replied, "I'll sit here in this drainage ditch another month I guess."

President Bush, confident that he can win the rapidly escalating media war against the aging married spinster told reporters that he sympathizes with her loss but further advised her to get away from his "danged" RANCH entrance (FM 270) before he orders Apache attack helicopters to spray her and her band of Sheehan-ians down with 250,000 gallons of ice cold Crawford Texas Miller Lite.

NASA, elated that their shuttle made it down in less than a billion pieces expresses concern that Mrs Sheehan might cause their space agency to be shut down completely .. dismantled because of Mrs Sheehan. NASA administrator, Michael Griffin said,

"We know Mrs Sheenan is upset after the loss of her son but we have worlds to explore, galaxies to traverse .. once we figure out how to stick a piece of foam to a piece of metal. Without it falling off at the slightest breeze." Bob Villa of "THIS OLD HOME", in a Detroit WOIV interview, talking to reporters suggested "super glue".

Austin reporters, at her drainage ditch spoke with Mrs Sheenan, asking her why the president would not meet with her. Mrs Sheenan told KVUE,

"He's a wuss AND a vagabond", her poignant words apparently becoming more hostile, more acrimonious, vapid even as the scorching Texas summer sun daily bakes her and her clan into a crisp batch of seasoned curly fries. When asked why she wanted NASA dismantled she replied,

"How many mothers have to lose a son or daughter because of Bush's misguided attempts to explore the universe? President Bush personally slayed my son, stabbed him in the heart a thousand times and I want him to tell me why".

NASA, uncertain about Mrs Sheenan's intentions or Bob Villa's super glue solution has temporally suspended all future shuttle flights. President Bush has scheduled a press conference for later this year. Cindy Sheenan permitting.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Iraq, NASA

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