Firefighters Called to Vatican
Firefighters raced towards the Vatican tonight. Black smoke was seen bellowing from the rooftop by a Japanese tourist and he promptly called the emergency services. On arrival, the Papal firefighters initially thought that the smoke was to signal tha...
Read full storyA SPECIAL day for ANDY LAM!
Oh! What a SPECIAL DAY had ANDY LAM! I am ANDY LAM! and I had a special day. Why was my day SPECIAL? I think that question you should be asking is, “Hey, why wasn’t MY day SPECIAL?” At least that is what I would be saying to myself if I wasn’t ANDY LAM!...
Read full storyPapal Conclave elects new Pope, debuts Papal Paypal initiative
VATICAN CITY, ROME - As the highly anticipated white smoke emerged today from the Sistine Chapel stovepipe chimney announcing the election of the new Pope, a collective cheer was heard from Catholics around the world.
Read full storyRows Over Pepsi's New Marketing Campaign
An entirely new advertising campaign has been launched today by the soft drink giant Pepsi which has caused a major stir throughout the world. The Pepsi company, believing themselves to be 'more popular than God', took it upon themselves to s...
Read full storyCreation Scientist Forced to Endorse Evolution
PIXY TWADDLE GAZETTE -- Long time staunch proponent of virgin births, talking shrubbery and literate livestock, Richard Noggin, part time sessional lecturer at Confused Christian Scientists for Stasis Community College and senior pastor for the congr...
Read full storyMove Over Rover - Over Here
BIRMINGHAM , UK - In a last minute deal administrators of the failing car giant Rover have brokered a deal that will mean car production will continue in the Black Country. Price Cooper Waterhouse have announced that a joint venture between Jo...
Read full storyScientists Forsee Lizard Takeover
In an animal testing facility on the outskirts of the city of Memphis, Tennessee - scientists were alarmed by the sudden rapid growth of a certain breed of iguana after being fed a considerable amount of birth-control pills.
Read full storyHard Line Vatican Cardinals Start Nuclear Holy War against Others, N.Korea is Hit by First Strike
In an unprecedented first strike against other worldwide religions, the Vatican has started the launch of 115 Cardinals against the enemy faiths and doctrines. Obviously, the lack of leadership at the Vatican has caused a catastrophic breakdown in di...
Read full storyRover Saved - New Model Announced
LONGBRIDGE, BIRMINGHAM - recent rumours are confirmed by Phoenix Venture Holdings, owners of MG Rover. A new model is to be launched which it is hoped will revive Rover's flagging fortunes.
Read full storyKiller Carp Invade Blue States
Genetically altered killer carp are suddenly turning up in the waters of all blue states, causing biologist to suspect they are agents of biological warfare sent to destroy all human life in the unpatriotic region. "They're big, they're bad, they're...
Read full storyPope Selection - Games Up
VATICAN CITY, New York - The election of a new Pontiff has been thrown into disarray as no one can find the rules of Paper Stone Scissors, the method used to determine who is to head the Roman Catholic Church until the next death. As of now he...
Read full storyCardinals Gather for Conclave
Vatican City - In a solemn ritual dating back to the Dark Ages, cardinals from around the world have gathered in the Vatican's famed Sistine Chapel to elect a successor to Pope John Paul II.
Read full storyConclave a Cacophany of Chortles as Up Pops Pope
Vatican City:- The solemn and onerous task for Cardinals gathered today in The Sistine Chapel to elect a new Pontiff following the recent shock demise of Pope John Paul II and defrocking of his replacement Michael Jackson, took a dramatic, some would...
Read full storyOsama The Caveman Strikes It Rich
TORA BORA - PAKISTAN - Saudi born engineer and wanted terrorist Osama Bin Hidin has announced to the free world he has struck oil whilst digging new caves in the mountains around Tora Bora. Initial testing has determined that 200,000 barrels a...
Read full storyArmed Forces Privatised - Wellington Gets the Boot
ROYAL AIR FORCE PRIVATISATION PLANS - Should New Labour win the forthcoming General Election they plan on privatising the RAF and the possible sub-contracting the Army to Group 4 has been discussed . This would leave only the Royal Navy in sta...
Read full storyHollywood Installs Surveillance Cameras
LOS ANGELES, CA -- The City Council has approved the installation and use of surveillance cameras in designated street corners within the Hollywood area. These cameras will be used by police to supplement the work of their street patrols and help de...
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