Written by Luke Morton

Monday, 18 April 2005

image for Rows Over Pepsi's New Marketing Campaign
One Of The Promotional Winning Cans

An entirely new advertising campaign has been launched today by the soft drink giant Pepsi which has caused a major stir throughout the world. The Pepsi company, believing themselves to be 'more popular than God', took it upon themselves to start the 'Be The New Pope' competition.

Thousands of Pepsi consumers were angrily phoning the Pepsi international offices with complaints about the new campaign, claiming it to be "immoral", "indecent" and "just wrong". However the Pepsi advertsing team and also management officials both clearly state that this offer is entirely accurate and a new pope will be decided through the Pepsi competition.

The rules on the specially marked cans of Pepsi state "if you can collect 100 ring pulls with the letter 'P' engraved underneath it then you will be entered into our prize draw to become the new head of the Catholic Church". Cardinals and church officials claim they knew nothing of the venture and are taking the CEO of Pepsi to court over the campaign.

The CEO of Pepsi, Douglas Daft, said in a press conference held this morning; "I have had meetings with 75 of the 115 Cardinals and they all believe, as do I, which this is a worthwhile campaign. It is a real opportunity for the modern people of today to become interested in religion." Draft then ended his speech by opening a can of Pepsi and claiming to have found a winning can, but did not display it to the audience.

Currently 115 Cardinals are already voting on a new Pope in The Vatican. It has been confirmed that when white smoke billows from the chimney of the chapel they are in, then a new Pope has been chosen. As yet, no white smoke has appeared.

The Coca-Cola Company are already underway to combat this marketing ploy by producing 'Holy Coke'. It is claimed that 'Holy Coke' will increase your chances of being accepted into heaven. However a disclaimer on the back reads "we accept no responsibility if you are not accepted into Heaven".

"This is possibly Pepsi's biggest marketing campaign ever" says former CEO of Pepsi John Sculley. " Although I feel it will end in many court cases as it is a 'taboo' subject, so soon after the death of John Paul II"

Despite the controversy it has been reported that Pepsi sales have increased by 40% in the past day, and sales are continuing to soar on all Pepsi brand drinks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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