Cheney: "A Vote for Kerry is a Vote for Terror"
Des Moines, IA (AP)--Vice President Cheney warned the American people on Tuesday that if John Kerry is elected this November, "then the terrorists will have already won."...
Read full storyEnglish Pubs Introduce Compulsory Ugliness
Health Secretary Dr John Reid is to introduce a bill in parliament making it compulsory for less attractive women to attend their local pub every evening. The bill is in response to pub landlords who believe that far more product is consumed when men...
Read full storyKen Jennings reveals Jeopardy! winning strategy
As rumors continue that Ken Jennings has lost his 75th Jeopardy! competition, he has decided to reveal his winning strategy...and the reason his record-breaking stance as the largest money winner in Jeopardy! history has ended.
Read full storyDoes My Bum Look Fat In This?
Doctors at John Hopkins Memorial Hospital Psychiatric Wing, today confirmed that they are working flat out to develop a treatment for Post Anal Opinion Disorder. They confirm that there is a marked increase in cases of trauma directly related to PAOD...
Read full storyKen Jennings Loses On Purpose, Heated Rivalry With Trebek To Blame
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- In an unexpected turn of events Thursday, longtime Jeopardy winner, Ken Jennings, lost on purpose as a publicity stunt in spite of Alex Trebek. From the beginning of the show, Jennings just stood there with a smirk on his...
Read full storyVideogames Claim Another Life
In another tragic turn of events, Videogames have once more claimed the minds - And lives - Of the innocent children of America.
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