Videogames Claim Another Life

Funny story written by John Carroll

Thursday, 9 September 2004

image for Videogames Claim Another Life
James, pictured before his tragic death.

In another tragic turn of events, Videogames have once more claimed the minds - And lives - Of the innocent children of America.

James Richards was a typical boy of 12. He loved to play out in the front yard with his friends, and made above average grades in School. However, he had one dark secret - He loved The Sims. This love of imaginary "computer people" grew into an obsession, that soon began to consume his life.

"He would just stand out in the middle of the halls sometimes." James' mother, Julia Richard recalls. "We'd walk up to him and wait for him to move on, but that would only confuse him more. He'd just turn around a few times, then eventually would give up and pee on the floor for no reason."

Over the following weeks, his obsession only grew. "We really knew something was wrong when his grades started to slip." Henry Richard, James' father told reporters. "He would play chess by himself for hours, insisting that it was raising his intelligence."

Finally, James began to speak in an odd language that no one could understand. "It was like he was speaking in tongues." Julia commented. "The only way we could know what he was talking about was by these odd cardboard signs he insisted on holding over his head whenever he spoke."

Then, just this Wednesday, while replacing a bulb in a broken lamp, James' young life was tragically cut short. Without warning, the boy was suddenly electrocuted directly infront of his parents. "It was pretty disturbing. He light up like a Christmas tree - We could see his skeleton and everything. Before I even had time to react, it was over, and all that was left was a small vase with his ashes in it." Henry said, later adding, "We're not going to ask how the vase got there."

The Richards fully plan on legal action following this tragedy, intending to sue Sims creator Maxis. Maxis, who had been in legal trouble in the past due to a rise of City Destroying UFO appearances after the release of Sim City 4, has yet to make a response.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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