New Zealand Government Caught With Proverbial Trousers Round Ankles
The Government of New Zealand, after the fleeting success of Shrek the Sheep, has today released a shock announcement as to how taxpayers' money has been spent.
Read full storyLost: American Redneck Male
Please contact Ken Manboobs if you have seen an American Redneck – Male – that fits the following description and matches with the enclosed picture (right). Answers to the name “Shusha” (pronounced Buck). Real name J.T. Rey.
Read full storyBusiness Briefs?
In a return to the old fashioned ways in hopes of reclaiming old fashioned profits, IBM is re-instituting the Big Blue Dress Code which set the tone for IBM in the fifties and sixties. Men will be expected to wear dark suits with light colored shirt...
Read full storyPiers Morgan to Join Labour Party with Senior Cabinet Minister Backing
In a shock secret interview with a top cabinet minister, it has been revealed that Piers Morgan, apparently 39, is to join the Labour Party in a bid to undermine the Prime Minister Tony Blair.
Read full storyRonald McDonald whacks Wendy
San Diego - In a bizarre story like a plot right out of a Soprano's episode, Ronald McDonald was arrested today for the murder of Wendy from Wendy's. Wendy's body was found by an employee opening the store yesterday morning. It appears...
Read full storySecret Agenda Of The Bush Space Program
Information leaked from the Bush White House confirms that the driving force behind the Bush Space Program is the implementation of a Christian agenda.
Read full storyPope Names New Saints
Vatican City, Vatican--- The papacy, in its effort to look hip and cool, to a modern world, has, to quote celebrity Chef Emeril "Bam"...
Read full storySmarty Jones Arrested After Preakness Victory
Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Smarty Jones was arrested early Sunday morning outside a downtown Baltimore Night club and charged with public drunkenness, lewd behavior and resisting arrest. The three-year-old thoroughbred was spotted by office...
Read full storyLottery wins man
In an unprecedented move, the National Lottery has taken a homeless man slave after he was unable to pay for his winning lottery ticket, which he had acquired with a fake credit card.
Read full storyFlatulence of the Gods
In Erich Von Daniken's new book Flatulence of the Gods, Von Daniken posits the theory that nebulae are not remnants of super nova - exploded stars - but rather gaseous emissions from a rip in the fabric of space-time.
Read full storyBush: Terrorists are behind Newsweek approval rating poll
President Bush said today that his record-low 42% approval rating "sends the wrong message to our troops" and accused unpatriotic poll respondents of trying to "weaken our resolve." Bush would not rule out using the Patriot Act to "smoke out" thos...
Read full storyAnimal Rights Activists Hail Massachussetts' Rule on Fornification with Sheep!
Yesterday the Massachussetts' Legislature, "feeling nifty" after allowing gay marriage in their state, was praised by the National Association of Animal Rights Sexual Activisits for passing a law permitting the union of gay men with she...
Read full storyPresident Bush plans new Republican Youth movement
President Bush yesterday announced plans for a new youth group that will "Be like the Scouts only more mandatory and less gay" according to a White House spokesperson. This new force will of Young Republicans will wear Blue uniforms each with an arm...
Read full storyHomeless people = Alternative fuel?
Esteemed English right-wing politician Sir Mark Hatcher has caused a stir in London today after he said that it would be of benefit to all if homeless people were to be 'recycled' or even 'cut into pieces' and used as fuel 'for th...
Read full storyDonald Rumsfeld To Play The Ogre In SHREK 3
Hot gossip from the Cannes Film Festival suggests that smooth-talking Donald Rumsfeld has landed the plum role of the Ogre, in ‘Shrek 3'.
Read full storyBush : Send in the ducks
George Bush unveiled plans in a White House press conference today to send "The Ducks" into Iraq. He was not, of course, referring to the hockey team - that would be silly - but rather the Asian Duck Corps prided for their efficiency and annihilat...
Read full storyHaitian Missile Crisis Resolved!
The world cast a giant sign of relief today as Haiti and The United States retreated from the brink of war. Unconfirmed sources report that US bombers are returning to their bases and the US Navy has ended its blockade of the Caribbean Nation. The Ha...
Read full storyAmericans Prefer Laughing Hyena to Kerry; Bush
A new Zogby Research poll released Sunday night shows that by a 55 - 45 margin Americans prefer a laughing hyena to John Kerry, but that by a 65 - 35 margin those same voters prefer Kerry to Bush. When matched against a laughing hyena the hy...
Read full storySex: A Keynesian Analysis; An Urgent Manifesto For Men Who Are Frequently Told: "Not Tonight Honey"
In a world where there is an equal number of men and women, and, by definition, the same numbers of men and women have sex, why is it that woman can charge for sex and men can't (generally speaking)? Why is it that in the dating game, men tend to get...
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