Written by David Baker

Monday, 17 May 2004

image for President Bush plans new Republican Youth movement
Not a nazi.

President Bush yesterday announced plans for a new youth group that will "Be like the Scouts only more mandatory and less gay" according to a White House spokesperson. This new force will of Young Republicans will wear Blue uniforms each with an armband featuring an American Bald Eagle.

At Young Republicans children as young as 10 will be taught the superiority of America or "God's Country" as it will be known. The young folk will have a healthy mix of political dogma, history and sports. The curriculum will include such subjects as:

How a democracy can let a loser win

Why international law does not apply to the US.

Protectionism is an American right, but an African wrong.

Guns and why we love them.

Why Our Democracy is so great

Why being gay is unnatural and wrong.

War = economic success (if you can't find someone to fight, make something up)

All boys between the ages of 10 and 16 will be shipped off to internment camps this summer for two months to "re-programming" so as to become better American citizens.

President Bush said "This movement will have a dramatical effectiveness in the reducing of crime and make lots of young men proud to be upstanding American citizens. This great country of ours is lacking a system for making young poor people vote for the Republican Party and I am in full belief that this youth movement will educate lots of young people into the correct way of thinking."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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