World's oldest pizza eaten by accident
The pizza recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the world's oldest authenticated piece of Italian cuisine has been eaten accidentally by a tourist who "missed his breakfast".Read full story
Kerry Wants To Become America's First Inverted President
GREENVILLE, Mississippi (FP) -- Democratic presidential hopeful John F. Kerry made a startling announcement yesterday. What he is proposing not only defies the laws of logic, but would also defy the laws of physics as well.Read full story
Martha Stewart Found "Quilty"
NEW YORK (FP) - Martha Stewart was found to be "quilty" on Friday by a jury of her peers completely consisting of homemakers both male and female. She had been charged with blocking out justice and embroidering a patchwork of lies that she...Read full story
Buy Micrappysoft ware and I'll sell you STAMPS?!?!
Okay, now Bill Gates has truly "gone where no one has gone before"... You see, after creating software that allows people to send us e-mail viruses (virii?), worms (personally I've always liked the "woims" pronunciation), and trojans (no relation to those fun condoms), he NOW wants to sell us postage. Hel-lo? Did I miss something there? Let me work through...Read full story
Bush signs with New York Yankees
George Steinbrenner's quest to put together a team of the most famous and expensive names in sports has now taken a turn into the world of politics.Read full story
Martha's New Cellmate!
Beacon Minimum Security Correctional Facility, New York - Excitement is growing in one of New York State's only all female correctional facilities, as inmates request Martha Stewart as their own special cellmates.Read full story
Hey! Like I was finally getting to where I could visit a synagogue in the first place and remembering not to where a crucifix in the second place. I mean, like, this was a big step forward for me. Some Jewish folks could even visit Mass; that was really something. Then, all of a sudden, in between genuflects and communion, Mel Gibson gets a message from the Holy Ghost and before you know it, i...Read full story
They who steal.
It was recently suggested in another forum that male serial sex attackers should be castrated. This gave rise to a great backlash of " That's going back to the middle ages!" dissent. One poster enquired as to what, under these terms should happen to serial car thieves. Reference to a musty, dusty tome in the far reaches of my bookshelves allowed me to enlighten him thus:...Read full story