Written by Dan Holmes

Saturday, 6 March 2004

image for World's oldest pizza eaten by accident
Zbigniew Makarowksi caught on camera

The pizza recognised by the Guinness Book of Records as the world's oldest authenticated piece of Italian cuisine has been eaten accidentally by a tourist who "missed his breakfast".

"One minute our wedge of 12th century Margherita was there in its case, large as life and mouldy as my mother's oldest gorgonzola", says Keeper of Rome's Museum of Antiquarian Lunches Luigi Luigi. "Next minute this Eastern European cretin has it in his chops. He didn't even blink at the green and brown fur covering the cheese. You'd think he'd never eaten before."

"I was up late that morning", asserts Zbigniew Makarowksi, a Pole travelling around Italy on a cheap winter holiday organised by the Polish Sausage Maker's Union. "By the time I came down to breakfast in our luxury Italian Autostrada Services my so-called friends had scoffed everything in sight - even the paper napkins. Then the coach driver started to moan so I just had to get on the bus. I was hungry, I can tell you. When we got to the Museum - well, that pizza just looked like a feast for a hungry Pollack."

"It's the last time we'll be having sausage makers in our Museum, and that's for sure" says Luigi Luigi. "Luckily we have plenty more slices of 12th century pizza in our stores - we get them from our local Pizza Hut."

Zbigniew is now looking forward to having the world's oldest case of indigestion.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Pizza, Breakfast

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