Reagan's Spirit Ascends; Lays D.C to Waste
In shocking news from the netherworld, former U.S. President Ronald Reagan, who died this past Saturday, has released his soul from its prison inside the old man's vegetative body. Reagan's soul, which had not been consciously aware of anything goin...
Read full storyQueen wants ashes to be returned to husband in Vatican
(Buckingham Palace, Monday). As world leaders gather round their personal litigation advisers, the Lord Chamberlain has confirmed today that according to her personal wishes, there will be no state funeral for the Queen and that a private ceremony a...
Read full storyYanks Seek Return to Crown Rule!
A recent Gallup poll in the United States shows that 78% of registered voters are so dismayed with the foreign and domestic policies taken by the Bush administration, they would rather return to English colonial rule. Even more surprising were the...
Read full storyDivine Intervention - Creed Calls it Quits!
HELL (AP) -- Creed, the pseudo-Christian rockers responsible for such noise pollution as "Higher" and "With Arms Wide Open," finally called it quits Monday after lead singer Scott Stapp suffered serious injuries while performing a Jesus Christ pose.
Read full storyWHO demands sadness - HAHA virus uncovered
World Health Organisation officials have today put the world on full Red Alert as a new strain of virus sweeps the globe.
Read full storyNational Day of Morning For Ronald Reagan
President George W. Bush has declared Friday, June 11 as a National Day of Morning in honor of Dead President Ronald Reagan. It is unknown at this point exactly how a day that is only morning will work, as this has never been tried before, but most r...
Read full storyEastwood to star in next Harry Potter Film
Hollywood, CA - Studio executives at Warner Brothers have been gushing over with excitement at the latest news: Clint Eastwood is finally resurrecting his "Dirty Harry" character.
Read full storyBush Goes After Crossover Democrat
Unconfirmed sources report Mr Bush's political strategy for re-election involves getting a crossover Democrat to vote for him in 2004. To achieve this goal the administration has compiled a short list of crossover voters to target.
Read full storyTony Blair takes Bill Clinton on to be his Advisor/Lover
On Monday, Tony Blair will officially take Bill Clinton on as an advisor about the US. Since President Bush is making Osama Bin Laden his new Vice president, Blair figured he'd need someone with an inside track.
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