U.S. Justice Department Denies Any Knowledge of the Law
WASHINGTON- Shortly after disavowing its controversial memo on the use of torture, the Justice Department conceded that it had "no freaking clue" what actions might constitute a breach of international law concerning the detention or in...
Read full storyTear down those words!
In the face of increasing pressure from the ACLU, and the father of a little girl in California who is offended that his small daughter has to memorize the Declaration of Independence, Rod Paige, U.S. Secretary of Education, promised to have all re...
Read full storySpeed Racer nailed for speeding
Speed Racer was arrested on Route 66 near Amarillo, Texas, for traveling 270 mph in a 25 mph zone. The animated racer hero was cited for speeding, aggravated speeding and speeding with the intent to speed. He was also charged with possession of speed...
Read full storyReagan legacy: Fistful of Jelly Beans
The presidency, The Gipper now reminds us, is performance art. And so George Bush, badly miscast as leader of the free world, plays President George W. Bush -- part action hero, part villain, part Burt Reynolds ham -- with a devious twinkle and a...
Read full storyNew evidence shows Saddam, Osama link is a love connection
The 9/11 commission has found no evidence of a significant link between Iraq and al Qaeda. Spanning the globe in our round-the-clock mission to bring you only the fakest fake news, this shocking revelation comes from the Weekly World News -- the New...
Read full storySmart bunch all for Kerry in '04
SCINTILLA, Neb. -- A poll taken among Nobel Prize winners about who these people would vote for in the next Presidential election revealed an astounding result.
Read full storyU.S. Amends Report to Show Rise in Terror
WASHINGTON - Secretary of State Colin Powell is prepared to announce that the earlier reports stating that terror fell in the last calendar year were actually inaccurate. So inaccurate in fact that it appears the initial reports diametrically opposed...
Read full storyPresident Bush Confused About Head
WASHINGTON. Rumors are circulating that President George W. Bush is dangerously confused about what he sees on TV. The Bush administration announced that it has not come up with a way to counter the latest move by the terrorists: giving head to all...
Read full storyNo Cars, No Bombs Strategy
Iraq, June 22, 2004. Fifteen terrorists were killed today in a shootout amongst themselves over the last drivable car in Baghdad. It appears that recent car bombings have completely depleted the vehicles in the area. Joe Pacifico of the lo...
Read full storyDeluxe Limited Edition Clinton Memoirs to be Released End of the Month
NEW YORK (JUNE 22) - Even as shoppers line up outside bookstores to get their copy of "My Life", publisher Alfred A. Knopf has already announced that a deluxe edition will be available later this month featuring a cover photo of a pair of gray pinstr...
Read full storyGod sacks Pope
God has sacked Pope John Paul II. The dismissal came soon after a 10-minute telephone conversation the two had.
Read full storyAl Qaeda beheads Bush
The Al Qaeda has claimed that it has beheaded United States President George W Bush.
Read full storyIndian actress bills Clinton for sex
An Indian actress has claimed that former United States President Bill Clinton had sex with her and has not yet paid the bill.
Read full storyASPCA Cites Man for Passing Gas, Blaming Dog
Forest Grove, OR - George Herbert believed he'd gotten away with one last Sunday night after diner, but thanks to a perceptive set of ears, one discerning nose, and quick action, he was sorely mistaken.
Read full storyKlingons Block Viacom Legal Filing, Liberate Klingon Captives.
Note to my readers: The Klingon Assault Force Commander has granted me permission to operate as an "embedded journalist" allowing me to move freely through his troops and even accompany them during combat missions. This repo...
Read full storyClinton memoir names Hellfire Club cronies
(Little Cock, Arkansas; Tuesday 22nd June) Former US President Bill Clinton's autobiography "My Lie" has gone on sale in bookshops across America.
Read full storyPresident George Bush: Republican Jedi?
After taking a beating in recent opinion polls following the 9-11 Commissions disclosures regarding the absence of evidence relating to links between Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein's Iraqi regime, President George W. Bush attempted...
Read full storyNew Muppet Added to Sesame Street
During it's time on the air, Sesame Street has been broadcast to more than 120 million children in 130 nations and three galaxies, making it - according to the Children's Television Workshop, the show's producer-"a really big deal."...
Read full storyCookie Monster to be Killed Off Sesame Street
After years of making children laugh and crave sweets before breakfast, Cookie Monster is set to be killed off Sesame Street, an insider source reports. The lovable blue monster will meet his demise by the end of the summer season in a two-fold effo...
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