Julia Child's Shocking Final Request
Santa Barbara, CA - The culinary world was rocked yesterday by the disclosure of details of Julia Child's will. Most disturbing to many is the requirement that her body be the secret ingredient in an episode of the Iron Chef, a popular cooking progr...
Read full storyBush Prepares for Republican Convention
The White House revealed today that President George W. Bush had been admitted to Walter Reed hospital. Originally slated for an outpatient procedure, Doctor Billy Bobbitt Boudreaux elected to keep the ailing President for an overnight observation.
Read full storyMichael Phelps Striking Gold
Teenage swimming sensation Michael Phelps has admitted that he owes Michael Moore his first Olympic Gold medal at the very least. He remembers as a 10 year old member of the North Baltimore Aquatic Club, how Moore would dive into the pool which empti...
Read full storyOprah Names 'The Bible' to Book of the Month Club for September
Well, it's that time of the month again for Oprah - Book club time! She's picked her next edition to add to the now famous book club it's the little known but timeless classic- ‘The Bible'.
Read full storyBush Actually Thinking of Running for Re-election
Washington, D.C. - Reports coming in from the White House have confirmed the suspicions that current president George W. Bush has been thinking of running for re-election in 2004, despite the (hopefully) certainty of his defeat.
Read full storyOlympic Games Results and News Day 1
News and Results Day 1 SHOOTING Ken Taki Friedchickenous A bit bizarre this one. We all walked from the Olympic villag...
Read full storyMattel Rejects Suicide Bomber Barbie
EL SEGUNDO, Ca - In a not-so-surprising move, Mattel executives unanimously rejected their marketing department's latest submission: Suicide Bomber Barbie. "This would surely become a political hot-potato," explained June Cabrini, Executi...
Read full storyNonsense writer dies, fans say obituary "not very funny"
The world lost a great man this Saturday.
Read full storyFour Years of Legislation Down the Drain, Bush to Blame
Washington D.C. (AP)- Guess who made another presidential boo boo? That's right, George W. Bush made a mess again, and this one won't be fixed by merely changing into unsoiled trousers. Bush has managed to void four years of legislation. How?...
Read full storyKerry reveals twin bother, has debate; fight ensues
Putting a new twist in the 2004 election is newly revealed Ron Kerry, John Kerry's twin brother. It has become apparent that they do not share the same political stances, and the fact that Ron has been impersonating John has put a rather large st...
Read full storyScientists conclude
Investigations into... something very, very important hit a fever pace earlier this week when mad-scientist-gone-lifeguard Dr. Bill "the mad-scientist-gone-lifeguard" Ventura announced his having come to a conclusion. Since Scientific conc...
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