Irish poet and writer, Seamus Heaney has been let down by the home team today. His brother, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the more famous one kept 43 squirrels under his bed for luck. These Squirrels each had individual names rangi...
Arnold Schwarzenegger has signalled his intent to be the man to replace Barack Obama as President of the United States in 2012. In an interview for the Guutenburgenschwartzhusten newspaper in Austria, he said that he wishes "to become the most pow...
News on Gordon Brown today as Chancellor Allistair Darling has said that he has an addiction to flumps. He says that Gordon just can't resist the temptation of the squidgy soft centre, the colourful, inviting exterior and of course, the memories o...
A new use for VHS cassette players/recorders was discovered yesterday. They can now be used as demon catchers. The devices each have a button on the remote control that no-one knows what it is for. It is this button that can be used to trap demons...
It was discovered by 15 year old GCSE students in Brighton today that the main cause for erectile dysfunction in men aged 20-65 is...ugly women. They came to the conclusion that if women took care of themselves a bit better instead of complaining...
Everton Football Club tonight fielded one of the supporters following the team in the ground. This comes as a result of the injury crisis currently gripping the club's strikers. With Yakubu, Saha and Vaughan all on the sidelines, Manager David Mo...
It has been discovered by scientists yesterday, after 40 years of research and £1,000,000,000,000 of taxpayer's money, that the reason for Adolf Hitler's genicide could have been attributed to the fact that he was vegetarian. Apparently, in 1925 (...
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