It has been discovered by scientists yesterday, after 40 years of research and £1,000,000,000,000 of taxpayer's money, that the reason for Adolf Hitler's genicide could have been attributed to the fact that he was vegetarian.
Apparently, in 1925 (around the time when Hitler regenerated the Nazi's aims and beliefs) there was a little known invasion of space monkeys sent to destroy the planet. These lovable creatures worked out all by themselves, that the most nutritional food for us earthlings to eat are vegetables, and so poisoned all of them with a special powder. This powder was put into farmers' manure to spread onto fields and grow into the vegetables. It was this powder which caused the genecidal instict in its consumers, the only antidote being...meat.
As Hitler was a vegetarian he was unable to get supplied the antidote, and with him being the only vegetarian in the world at that time with any political power, he took the liberty of trying to destroy a whole race of people. Many other vegetarians (or dopey feckers) around the same time also took an extreme dislike towards another race, but these cases normally ended in a civil arrest.
This comes amidst a startling revelation that these very space monkeys are back, however Wayne Rooney is not one of them as one scared individual put it, "That thing is the scariest eejit I've ever seen, I thought it was a gorilla or something, especially when it stamped on that pussy cat, Ronaldo, and even moreso when it started to swing froma rope shouting 'OOOOHHH, OOOOOOHHH, OOOOOHHH!!!'"
It is thought that Burlesconi, the AC Milan football team president is the most powerful vegetarian in the world today, so the Mafia have taken the liberty of preparing to assassinate him.