Money markets around the world were rocked this morning after newly crowned Prime Minister David Cameron and his Chancellor, George Osborne, were revealed to be missing. They were last seen just after the outgoing Chancellor and former comedian, S...
The far-right BNP have released claims that a future Lib-Dem, Labour, Conservative or UKIP government would seek to bolster claims for the existence of global warming by linking it to the growth in the number of pensioners. Speaking at the launch...
After weeks of worsening economic news, Greece has been bailed out in a controversial scheme that will see the UK and German governments both take 30% of shares in the country. RBS-chief, Stephen Hester, has also been installed as the new Prime Minis...
BNP leader, Nick Griffin, was ousted by his party last night in an extraordinary general meeting of its leadership council. During the party's recent legal wranglings over its membership policy, their constitution, which requires would-be members...
Top military brass were last night rushing to defend the decision to close down 5 training bases and replace them with X-Boxes and the lastest version of "Call Of Duty". A spokesman dismissed claims this was further evidence of budget reductions i...
The most expensive and longest Oscars ceremony in history is expected this year with creative control and a budget of $1.2trillion handed to "Avatar" director, James Cameron. The extra budget, syphoned off the US government stimulus package as a t...
UK Society was rocked to its foundations after the first ever recorded incident of a released prisoner reoffending. The ex-con, who can not be named for legal reasons, was expected to do the same as the 200,000 prisoners released every week and se...
In a candid interview with The Telegraph today, outgoing Tory MP, Sir Rhodes D'Oblivion, condemned the lack of decent sorts in top positions these days. "There's just not enough decent chaps in parliament," he told the reporter from the comfort of...
In a shock twist to the dark comedy surrounding Portsmouth football club, the government has announced that it is stepping in to bail out the ailing Premier League club. "We believe that allowing the club to collapse would do lasting damage to the...
Chancellor of the Exchequer and semi-professional Steve Martin impersonator, Alistair Darling, today revealed that he had instructed the media to "unleash hell" at his signal when he announced that the UK was descending into a pit of despair not seen...
The political stalemate in Ulster was shaken to within inches of its life today when revivalist nationalists once again showed why all car insurance ads carry the caption "Excludes NI". In a coded statement, the retro-obsessed terrorists, gave war...
The world of football was rocked to its foundations today with the shock dropping of Chelsea Left Back, Ashley Cole, from the Girls Aloud 5-A-Side competition. Cole, who shares a name with fellow Chelsea player, Joe, was dropped after straying off...
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