Tijuana, Mexico - Juan Valdez, of the Shinola drug cartel here, called a press conference today to thank the DEA for removing several pounds of hundred-dollar bills from his colon. He stated: I was s-o-o-o-o constipated! I’d run out of room to...
Everytown, U.S.A - Coke heads, crack heads, pill freaks and heroin junkies have all banded together in support of freeing their beloved El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord, from prison, by opening a Kick-Starter page. "Our goal is to raise enough mone...
The internationally acclaimed, and Pulitzer Prize winner, Amiko Aventurista, has once again demonstrated why he is the world's leading journalist. Yesterday, he conducted the most impressive interview of his career when Joaquin "El Chapo" Guzman, agreed to a one-on-one non-conditional 60 minute interview. Hundreds of journalists have attempted to interview El Chapo, the world's leading fugitiv...
Santa Cruz, California - 79 year old Santa Cruz resident Harry Rider discounted as "irrelevant" his personal habits in explaining a recent hospitalization. Mr. Rider was rushed to the hospital early yesterday morning after having smoked a gram of...
Suspicions have arisen lately that the recent spate of Latin children coming across the southern U.S. border were no spontaneous occurrence. Darker implications have revealed themselves. "The operation was a total success!" states Juan Cokefetcher...
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