JERUSALEM - The appearance of a grey whale off the coast of Israel has stunned scientists, in what was thought to be the first time the giant mammal has been seen outside the Pacific in several hundred years. The whale, which was first sighted off...
A large box of popcorn sells for about $5.00 in Israel theatres. Carmel Shama, an Israeli lawmaker, thinks that this is outrageous because it is delaying puberty rites for Jewish children who cannot afford to pay this exorbitant price. It is cu...
Hezbollah leader, Sheik Hassan Nasrullah, met today with United Nations Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon, demanding that the UN convene an emergency meeting immediately to standardize language condemning Israel. Stating that it is readily apparent...
PM Silvio Berlusconi, with more seductions than Tiger Woods and John Terry to his credit, attempted to lure the Israelis into joining the EU during a meeting with PM Benjamin Netanyahu, who couldn't help laughing! Accompanied by eight (8) Nubile '...
As Dr. Watson started eating another piece of toast and kosher gefillte fish, Dr. Watson came into the room. 'Ah, Holmes', he said, sitting down and helping himself to some vegetarian burgers blessed by the Chief Rabbi of Norway, 'anything in the news?' 'Really, Watson', that sleuth answered, 'if there was nothing in the news then The Times would just be filled with idiotic drivel about cookery an...
Israeli defense officials have revealed the development of a 'Kosher bomb' which might be deployed in the event that Iran launches a missile attack against the Jewish homeland. Iran has promised to 'wipe Israel off the map' as soon as feasible.
Around this time each year, hundreds of young Israelis forsake their homeland and religion to go on a pilgrimage to the new Zion- the U.S.A. They come to celebrate the birth of Christ in their own fashion. They can be seen religiously offering a...
0800 Arrive at Jerusalem, dodging sniper bullets from Hamas gunmen. Bravely visit the Wailing Wall under armed Israeli escort, who shoot dead two unarmed Palestinian youths there for 'being unarmed, unemployed, and hungry in their own country'. 0900 Visit the Bank of Tel-Aviv and gift it $30 million, 'As an early Christmas present, I know how important Christmas is here for you guys. And...
US Secretary Of State, Hillary Clinton was on the point of euphoria today after revealing that she believed she had finally resolved the Middle East conflict over disputed territorial rights between Israeli settlers and Palestinian militants. "I t...
In a revelation that surprised many in the Jewish community but few in Washington DC, Senator Joseph Lieberman confirmed today that he has joined Hamas. Evidentially, Lieberman and Khaled Meshaal, the head of Hamas reached their agreement at a priva...
In honor of the peaceful and democratic people of Israel, and their sensitive handling of a handful of armed gangsters in the Gaza Strip there, US President Obama today released his own version of 'Jingle Bells' for his Israeli fans: 'Dashing through the sand In a one-man open tank O'er stolen Pali land Laughing as we slay Can't hear a US voice Telling us what's right Oh, what fun it...
Tel Aviv, Israel - Dr. Johann Himmler was released from prison today, after a harrowing three week ordeal in which he faced up to ten years in prison for holocaust denial. It started last month when he was scheduled to fly to Tehran to promote his...
Chandler, Arizona - In a lightening raid, and aided by local law enforcement, a seven member team from the Israeli army captured the last Midianite-American. It is believed that he is in actuality, the last Midianite, period. Andy Frank, who had...
TEL AVIV, Zion - This past summer, Zionist Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave his approval to a sovereign Palestinian state. He said, "I call on you, our Palestinian neighbors, and to the leadership of the Palestinian Authority: Let us begin peac...
In a surprise move today it was announced that English and very Jewish singer Amy Winehouse was to become the tenth President of the state of Israel. 'It's a larf, innit!', she chortled at a news conference from her home in north London, 'me being...
America is in trouble today when a birthday gift to Israel, according to witnesses, totally bombed. Spain and other countries attended Israel's birthday party yesterday, which started off with sweet treats but ended in savage violence. "We were...
Israeli police were today hunting for murderers that killed thousands of people in one of the worst crimes in modern history. Police Chief Detective Uri Nazi said from Tel-Aviv: 'We are hunting the most despicable and cowardly killers in recent ti...
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