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The Facial Shock Diva was apparently cussing and strutting through airport security with something other than her naturally sickening 30-22-23 figure when Air Marshals insisted that she strip to reveal what she was hiding under her bra. The smirking...
Horror erupted in the course of routine back surgery on hospital patient Morris Murcheon, 31, and he slept through the entire ordeal. Mavis Brincheton, M.D., said that the explosion, triggered by the laser cautery device she was holding at the ti...
In a moment unequalled in the annals of history, a university researcher has bottled his own flatulence and utilised it to power a lawn mower. Alex Lubic, a part time laboratory assistant, came up with the idea to bottle the anal gas, methane, wh...
The smell of gas was in the air so thick yesterday that the Isleworth Police had to abandon their previous days lockdown on going door to door seeking evidence on who was attacking people in the community with a golf club. An odor was issued that ev...
In what can only be described as a revolution, hotel heiress Paris Hilton has 'bottled her bottom burps'. "People love my fragrances, so I'd thought that I'd give them something more personal", explained Ms Hilton. During the fictitious interview,...
The European Commission is proposing new levels of total allowable fart (TAF) for each member state of the Union. The proposal is based on scientific advice from the Carbon Control Group CCG about the level of farting in the EU reaching dangerous lev...
In a new report commissioned by FIFA (Farting Is For All) eggs have been identified as the principal cause of fart potency. The fart potential of eggs - especially boiled eggs - has been found to affect fart pungency even more than beer, Brussels...
BNP leader Nick Griffin denied this morning that he had farted loudly during the recording of Question Time last night. Sound engineers were combing through the videotape to try and ascertain who had produced the loud rumbling bottom explosion ten...
Expert whale trainer, Burt Hamstead, was killed yesterday after trying to lead killer whale, Alfredo Fatface Scarlucci, to a section of the big tank where he could be more easily fed. A fellow worker, Kate Mackerel, stated that Burt had the big wh...
Dallas, TX - Dr. Bret Holiday of the Austin Flatulence Dysfunction Therapy Center held a brief press conference to announce that his clinic is seeking subjects for a flatulence dysfunction drug treatment study. "Flatulence dysfunction (FD) is not...
A fart can be more trouble than it's worth sometimes, especially when it's a particularly wet fart, and so it was when unemployed car worker, Tabib Dipthong of Dudley, dropped his guts after a tasty curry last Thursday. Poor Tabib, 34, had taken h...
New York, Thursday: Following a unprecedented gathering of world leaders at the UN building in New York, a formal treaty was agreed to banning farting in most of the world's nations. US President Barack Obama chaired the special meeting convened...
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez delivered an address to the United Nations Thursday, then delivered a crack rattler that replaced the "smell of hope" at the world body with a much more pungent aroma, said witnesses. "It most certainly does not sm...
President Barack Obama said tougher fart regulations are needed worldwide to protect consumers, provide economic stability and prevent future crises. With the leaders from the Group of 20 nations set to meet next week in Pittsburgh, Obama said, in...
After the tremendous success of the "Cash For Clunkers" Program over the past month, representatives of Greenpeace and Spokesman Al Gore has requested that the government now follow up with an atmosphere clearing "Funds For Farts" Program. "All a...
In light of the recent revelations, the PGA Tour Judges have decided to impose the so-called "Tiger Woods Fart Rule" and add it under Section 1, Paragraph 7 "Players conduct while on the golf course." This is the section which concerns walking between a player and the hole on the green or casting a shadow across the path of the ball to the hole while on the green, etc. Whenever anyone is abo...
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