After our reporters went to interview a couple of guys whose DNA proved them to be innocent of a sex crime after spending 12 years in jail, they were told that Bernie Madoff, the guy who stole millions off trusting clients, wanted to see them. "Bernie looked a lot older but he had fire in his eyes." He greeted us and then went right into a rant that while he, Bernie Madoff, was spending hard...
OSSINING, New York - Officials at Sing Sing Prison have just informed the media of the results of a surprise inspection. A correction facility spokesperson who would only give her initials, V.Y. said that a group of 43 Sing Sing prison guards sear...
In every Daily Mail reader's wet dream, Justine Hardwood was recently found to have 'faked' being transgender in order to be sent to Styal women's prison. In a bizarre twist, she has asked to be moved to a male prison, but denied the request. "A...
NEW YORK CITY - The Federal Aviation Federation has just let it be known that they are investigating the recent incident in which Justin Bieber was alleged to have been drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana, and eating environmentally protected lobster...
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - A spokesman for the Federal Bureau of Prisons has issued a stern warning to the American Public. "It is getting darn right crowded in here," complains Warden Clarence Frapples. "You people need to start behaving and follo...
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Senator Philbert P. Washmeister [R-Hot Springs] has just met with the members of the news media and he has informed them about a very important piece of state legislation that has just been passed by the Arkansas State Senate.
In urban centers such as New York City and Los Angeles, the sale of e-cigarettes in jails and prisons is forbidden. But throughout rural America prison guards are supplementing their incomes by selling there nicotine laden regular cigarette substitu...
MARICOPA COUNTY, Arizona - Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has proclaimed himself to be The Toughest Sheriff in The United States. The 81-year-old received his nickname from Vice-President Joe Biden because of Arpaio's policy of making his inmates dres...
MEXICO CITY - The Republic of Mexico has just informed the White House that they would be willing to take Canadian singer Justin Bieber if President Obama decides to deport him. A spokesperson for the Mexican government stated that they would inca...
CHICAGO - America's Talk Show Queen, Oprah Winfrey has said that the little pop singer Justin Bieber needs to realize that he is getting real close to self-imploding. Winfrey talking with Durango Tucker of National Focus Magazine said that the lit...
After the premiere of Camp X-Ray last week, director Peter Sattler and the cast members Kristen Stewart, Peyman Moaadi and Lane Garrison stopped by a whole group of us to talk about the drama which is about a Guantanamo Bay prison guard. The cast...
The Queen has issued a slightly puzzling "Royal Pardon" to all of the residents of Australia. The pardon was delivered to the House of Commons on New Years Day by a footman. William Hague and Theresa May are said to have set teams of analysts to work...
HMP Frankland prison officers stifled there giggles as they walked into a room to unexpectedly find that familiar figure Ian Huntley, dancing in his ex-partner Maxine Carr's dress. Huntley who is now a successful cleaner behind bars, was slut droppin...
CORCORAN, California - The girlfriend of the most evil demon in the United States has said that she wants to marry the infamous Charles Manson and have his baby; preferably a boy. Manson, who is 79, has been incarcerated at Corcoran State Prison f...
After Freshman Congressman Trey Radel of Florida was arrested for possession of cocaine in Washington, D.C. and him admitting he is an alcoholic and pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine, the President has ordered a new prison built just for crooke...
CORCORAN, California - Charles Manson, who masterminded the so called Helter Skelter killings of 1969, has been incarcerated at Corcoran State Prison for 44 years. An inside source (no pun intended) stated that in those 44 years, Charlie, as the d...
Ariel Castro apparently committed suicide on Tuesday by hanging himself. Castro, who was sentenced to one life sentence plus 1,000 years, was convicted in August for the kidnapping, raping, and repeated beating, among 900 plus other counts, of t...
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