"Just do it, Johnny," cringed out the stuffed and mangled school teacher to her student after being absorbed and becoming one with the giant luffa raining havoc across the American landscape. "Bullet to the brain. Quick and easy. Give it to me no-,"...
After decades of not giving a shit, the American public has finally decided to pretend to care about the crippling disease ALS by pouring icy-cold water over their faces. While most can easily wipe off their wet grins, ALS stricken teen Oliver Perry...
President Obama declined to cut his holiday in Jamaica short today due to the controversy surrounding Taylor Swifts new music video. Her video for the pop single "Shake it off" has caused controversy throughout the vlogosphere (real word) due to the...
WASHINGTON - Amid national and international crises, the US House of Representatives could not confirm the color of the sky. House Resolution 461, called for Congress to declare that the sky is blue. The resolution was proposed by Representative...
Patrick Freeman has gone missing. The amateur inventor from a little village in the South of Ireland claimed on his Facebook page that he had invented a car that could run on tap water. It required, he said, only a rechargeable battery and its en...
Did you know that America is on the wrong path? Republicans and Democrats force-feed agendas with one-sided talking points and mean-spirited drivel. Politicians today can't seem to walk past a live camera without delivering an absurd fabrication meant to injure the other Party. Hillary Clinton wore goggles at Wellesley, and purchased a shoe collection from Imelda Marcos on Ebay. Did you know Je...
Egypt - Leaders of the Muslim Brotherhood and members of ISIS have made their strongest and most hard-hitting threats so far toward the United States in their bid to thwart US intervention into affairs in the Middle East. The Brotherhood has h...
They travelled from all over the state to gather in Chicago town square. Draped in red, white and blue flags, these US team football fans stared up to watch the big screen in the centre of the square. On the giant TV was a live twitter news feed pa...
American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...
Egypt's president, Abdel Fatah al-Sisi, is claiming his recent response to Mr. Kerry's ear was inspired by world cup soccer player Luis Suarez, and "couldn't be avoided." After the recent verdict concerning the Al Jazeera journalists, Mr. Kerry, w...
NEW YORK, NY - UN spokesperson, Lotta Boolsheet, issued a report today stating that the number of US citizens forced to leave their homes has exceeded 150 million for the first time since Jimmy Carter was president. 60 percent the USA's refugees a...
A new law has been passed in Washington. Nobody with assets of less than $50 million will henceforth be allowed to stand for political office. President Obama has announced the move as a "triumph for democracy". George Bush said it was "long overdue" and is a welcome move in the "war against terrorism". Pope Francis has sent a telegram of congratulations saying "God and the Banco Ambrosian...
After a few decades of notices, we as a nation still have far to many people who "go there" after being told not to. During the 1980s and 90s world leaders like Oprah and many others made it almost their personal crusade to stop us from going...
Cheryl Cole didn't make it in America because even though she is fit, she is an unintelligible Geordie div. Robbie Williams was too fat, fair enough. Even British success story Tesco's flopped in America (although they should have known better than t...
Millions of GM car owners got a big surprise in their mailbox this week, a recall notice informing them that their, Caprice, Colbart, Corvair, Vega, Chevette, Corvette, Trailblazer, Suburban, Yukon, Malibu or any other GM car ever made is a death tra...
Stacy Armato says agents gave her a HARD time when she asked that they please not X-ray her breast milk at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in 2010. ABC says, "She pleaded for an alternate way to screen it" But an unidentified source said the...
The United States needs action. We need something that all people can get behind and that will unite us. Dissension and laziness is getting us nowhere. Something like a war would kick-start us in the right direction. Think of our economy during and after the earlier World Wars. However, war itself is ugly and killing is frowned upon by basically everybody in the world. We don't actually want to ki...
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