Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Knowing when to pull out and when to keep DeLaying gratification are seminal leadership skills that any Commander in Chief ignores at his peril. And in DC last night the mood was sombre as Presidential aides sought to que...
In the bloodiest attack in weeks, a pair of suicide bombers blew up another pair of suicide bombers in what is being described as a bizarre twist in the ongoing war in Iraq.
(Washington, D.C.) Four-year-old Sam Adams, recently stopped from boarding a United Airlines flight in San Diego because his name matches a Sam Adams on the Transportation Security Administrations' "no-fly" list, might just be a terrori...
House of Lords, London - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): An official royal Whore on Terra State Visit to the United States is in the pipeline for next year according to plans laid out before Parliament in the Queen's Speech today.
SALT LAKE CITY (Reuters)--President George W. Bush on Thursday predicted an unending war on terror at a time of increasing public anxiety at home, while likening the struggle against Islamic fundamentalism with the fight against Nazis, Communists, an...
Noting that Britain is becoming a "Haven for Al-Queda", George Bush announced, "Our War on Terror must continue", and began preparation for an intensive bombing campaign of the British Isles. The campaign will be modeled after his successful bombing...
Washington DC -- According to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. the "War on Terror" is officially over. Tomorrow at 3 p.m. EST it will be replaced by a "Global Struggle against the Enemies of Freedom," a phrase which Arabic s...
Plans proposed by the Home Secretary, Charles Clarke, to reclassify detained terrorist suspects as house dogs for the disabled was not an...
Senator John Kerry, Democratic Presidential Nominee has confirmed that the War on Terror can be won. Speaking in Nashville, Kerry said that he was 'all shook up uh huh huh', then laid the problems at the Governments door. He said extremism wa...
Des Moines, IA - Citing the dangerous geopolitical climate, the National Pork Board has taken the unorthodox step of seeking an active role in the war on terror. According to Ramon Garciaparra, a spokesperson for the National Pork Board and father o...
Inmates at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, imprisoned as part of the USA's ongoing War on Terror, are being offered six free* ringtones when they buy any three different meals from the cafeteria in any one week. Announcing the offer yesterday, a visibly a...
Mass Destruction. Minimal Destruction. Big Leaders. Small Leaders. When it comes to war, does size really matter? According to the doctrine of the Peter Principle, people are eventually promoted until they reach a position for which they are incompetent. The effect as it pertains to George W. Bush makes it increasingly apparent the leader of the free world might not have what it takes. Bu...
Washington, D.C. - "It is with great sorrow, I must announce that -- in furtherance of the war on terror -- the United States will immediately begin bombing Langley Virginia," President Bush told a shocked crowd of reporters hastily called to the Whi...
In light of the coalition of the willing's extended War on Terror, a further alleged regime sympathiser fugitive 'Piers Morgan' has joined Saddam Hussein and his other 5 henchmen as captives.
In an address to the nation last night, a delighted G.W Bush declared that the War on Terror has been won. "My fellow Americans. It gives me joy to announce that the War on Terror has finally reached an end. After a fortnight of tough battles, I...
After an exclusive screening of Tom Cruise's latest flick, The Last Samurai, President Bush immediately drafted new plans on his war on terror.
President Bush has announced plans for future space exploration. The President, regarded as the most powerful man on the planet, has highlighted plans to build a base on the moon "before the Ruskies do" so he can launch manned missions to M...
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