Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...
Although not as expensive to produce and not usually considered as "good" as motion pictures, television (TV) shows are still, by everyone's standards except, perhaps, those of Bill Gates, costly and, therefore, even their goofs, flubs, fuckups, boners, and bloopers, as mistakes by cast and crew are called (except when they're called outtakes or, in England, "a comedy of errors"), are often preser...
"Booger" (also "boogie") is the polite name for snot, a free, delicious, nutritious emergency ration produced, without fanfare, by the nasal mucosa in such abundance that individuals swallow approximately 3.48 gallons per day without realizing it. Boogers are made up of mucin, water, cells, and inorganic salts. Depending upon the size of the serving, a single helping may contain from 10 to 40 c...
TORONTO, Canada - Those kooky Canucks! They hit the Hollyweird jackpot, and all they do is bitch! Imagine winning a role in the remake of Total Recall and complaining about it. That's exactly what Canadian actress Kaitlyn Leeb did in a recent interview, much to the chagrin of Original Films executives and their counterparts at Columbia Pictures, the company distributing the movie. Leeb's compla...
Transsexual lesbian Amanda Bearse has been called lots of names, including "actress," "director," and "comedienne," but the first four letters of her first name, which is given only in the sense that she gave it to herself, says it all: Amanda is "a man." Transsexual lesbian? What's that? Technically, now that she has completed sex-change surgery, she is a transwoman (a man who becomes a "wo...
HOLLYWEIRD, CA - Despite being (a) married and (b) a mother, actress Anna Paquin insists that she is "really, really, really-really and truly-bisexual." Sexuality is not a "given" the actress claims, "but a choice, and, although I love Stephen enough...
Having had the misfortune to have been named after both a French city and a hotel, heiress Paris Hilton "never had a chance," Freudian psychoanalyst Ima Shrink contends, explaining, "She lacks penis envy." Be that as it may, many consider Hilton to be a "tremendous success," the heiress mom, Kathy Hilton, insists. "How many other young women without talent, looks, or brains have become the sens...
Beautiful, desirable and extremely lovely British TV presenter, Holly Willoughby, today proved to the media that she is indeed more than just a pretty face. Speaking at a conference where she had the full attention of those present on two counts,...
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that they are now expecting quadruplets, which for their vast array of low-IQ, sheep-like, celebrity clap-trap fans means that Kim will be giving birth to four babies at the same time. Speaking to a vas...
"To think I kissed her there-and there-and there!"-Sarah Michelle Gellar Michelle Trachtenberg (who should change her last name because, like Schwarzenegger, it's just too hard to spell) calls herself an American actress although her mother was born in Russia. She appeared as a key in energy form that became flesh so that she could live with her mentor, Sarah Michelle Gellar, in Sunnydale, Ca...
Marti Noxon grew up in a haunted house, believing that her brain was ectoplasmic and could, of itself, produce thoughts that were both rational and meaningful without being maudlin. She attended Pesky College, University of California, Ain't Hanna Barbera, majoring in Melodrama, because she couldn't get into UCLA and because she wanted, even in her twenties, to be a Valley Girl. Just a Little O...
"Nobody is anybody if her body is female and she hasn't been kissed by me."--Sarah Michelle Gellar "I married her because of her acting talent; she convinced me she was hot."--Freddie Prinze, Jr. "Who? Oh, wait! I know 'her-the little Jewish girl with no breasts, right?"--Howard Stern Sarah Michelle Gellar (also known as "Barely There Gellar") was a major Daytime Enema Award-winning ac...
HURRAH for HOLLYWOOD - Celebrities have begun to sell themselves! "My body is my instrument," Katy Perry says. Like other big-name stars, Snooki, Kate Walsh, Khloe and Lamar Kardashian, and Selena Gomez have bottled their essence-their pheromones and...
The press is much occupied these days with the foibles of the rich and famous. To judge by the content of the press and the blogs, and the tidal wave of so-called reality TV, we, the anonymous public, take great delight in being reminded that power and privilege do not make a man wise or save him from ridicule. Remember all the fun we had watching a political bully and egocentric hit man named Wie...
Former Children's TV presenter Rod Hull, the owner of Emu and the curliest hair on television is not dead. According to the history books, Rod Hull fell off the roof of his house while adjusting the aerial on his roof. "When we came up with tha...
Dakota Fanning has added her name to an ever-increasing list of women who have come forward or been called out for reportedly having affairs with old Fiona Shaw, bringing the tally to at least nine. Tabloids over the weekend named teen star Selena...
Since Trayvon Martin was kicked out of the Pussy Cat Cinema, Filipino tabloids have claimed he once dated Claireece Precious Jones whose stage name is Gabourey Sidibe. However, the 17-year-old aspiring star denies the romance rumors. Last week, Ba...
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