Miley Cyrus has reached the age of majority, and men and boys are celebrating the Big 1-8 'actress' by firing uterus-spackle at the Hannah Montana pictures playing as a slideshow on their laptops. And they're doing so guilt-free. "Hitting 18 i...
Ludicrous bloated old queen Elton John, 78, is set to play solo on the Isle of White, on 16 June next year, writes Min Singe-Lymprist, Pantomime Dame Correspondent. The announcement by Elton's camp manager Everard Tallboy was issued to the media y...
A recent study has concluded that male Cape ground squirrels have a reason for being one of the most prolific wanking species on the planet. They are ensuring the healthiness of their privates. One has to wonder if these study results had been aro...
Christine O'Donnell - Scarah Palin's latest favorite Mama Grizzly - upholder of reel American family values (nudge-nudge; wink-wink) is finding herself in the news again and this time it's for all the wrong reasons. Perhaps O'Donnell should have h...
Looking to Beat It with a real J.O. Bro In A Profound Spiritual Act Of Consensual Hetero Awesomeness. Date: 2010-08-30, 5:13PM EDT I'm a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the "Beat It" video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way soon...
More than nine million British adults have never used the internet, despite Government efforts to encourage people to go online for their daily dose of dingle dangles and depraved doxies doing dirty demonstrations. While a million extra "silver su...
Online gaming is now more popular than downloading media and even masturbation when it comes to things to do online according to new reports out by Ofcom and Offwrist. According to one Offwrist report, 39 per cent of those surveyed played games on...
Hello, My name is Hans Jeob. I have been an Onanist for many years and this is my guide to maintaining your lifstyle without going blind or to prison. THE BASICS: Where ever one may wake up, always ensure you have a sock hidden under the pillow. This little gem, will save one having to explain small stains on bedding after an "Episode". It will also ensure a sudden invasion can be explai...
Though most famous for his barbed discourse in published medical news articles and editorial commentary, noted Psychiatrist Dr. Victor Nicholas has been named as the best practitioner in his field by patients and peers, as recorded by the consumer wa...
Ryde - Isle Of Wight - After tea - Following a deluge of thirteen complaints from island residents, council leader Jay Arthur successfully passed a motion demanding that the book, The Big Boy's Book Of Wanking be immediately removed from the island's...
A date with Mrs. Palmer and her 5 slut daughters Auditioning the hand puppet Badgering the witness Beating the fuck out of your best friend Beating the shit out of your incapacitated midget Beating the snot outta Rotney Beating the snotty end of my fuck stick Blueball baseball Calling down for more Mayo Calling in the National Guard to assist you in a strategic crisis...
Applying nail polish remover Auditioning the finger puppets Brushing your afro Buttering your bagel Checking for squirrels Checking the foxhole Checking the oil Checking the status of the I/O port Cleaning my fur coat Coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp Defrosting the freezer Dialling the rotary phone Diggin' the stench trench Digging for my keys Doing...
What a dumb blondie bomb shell. Pamela Anderson has been paid to appear on the Australian version of "Dancing With The Stars". Though, some say with Anderson on the show it would be more appropriate to rename the show "Dancing With A Porn Star".
Buzz Aldrin has lived for the last 40 years with the knowledge that he was only the second man to walk on the moon, after fellow astronaut Neil Armstrong. But in an exclusive interview with "Jizz" magazine, the monthly journal about masturbation, he...
Let us give thanks to the Lawd for what we got! On this, the 23rd day of May, in the Year of Our Lord 2010, we have much to be grateful to God for. Give me a minute; I'll think of something... Oh yes, I am thankful I have a penis. It is like many penises, I suppose, but this one is mine. I never go off half-cocked, unlike some Skoobs I know. And while we're on the Skoobject, are you pl...
Magazine Ralph has controversially called food handling tough - but popular - Australian food critic at the top of its annual 100 "Wankers" list, Master Chef judge Matt Preston was ejaculated for being "pompous" - though you could add every curse kno...
Nick Clegg and his Lib Dems have opened the gateway for his arch rival to be announced as Britain's No. 1 wanker with Nick himself being selected as the second biggest wanker. Wanking is a fond hobby of politicians, they often wank themselves, the...
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