A new two year degree is being offered at Life University that many of you should be interested in: Becoming a real man - That's right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man. Please take a moment to look over the program outline. First Year Autumn Schedule: MEN 101 Combating Stupidity MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework MEN 103 PMS - Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut MEN 104 W...
A group of female protesters in Los Angeles from several area Universities picketed local nurseries over their growing and selling of Pussy Willows. The students and faculty members felt that the plants degraded women in general and were inappropria...
British agricultural colleges were today accused of failing to teach the basics of farming. 'They've become centres of excellence in the teaching of many skills and crafts,' said the Government Chief Inspector of Colleges, 'but the management of c...
"Frustration" was the key word in a disappointing turn of events, as the Kappa Kappa Kappa fraternal organization of college students didn't reach its recruiting goals for minorities for the twentieth year in a row. "We firmly believe that in ord...
Darth Vader has been turned away from Burnley Technical College for attending in his full outfit. Dressed from head to toe in black Vader certainly cuts an imposing figure. It was feared that he may intimidate other students and disrupt the learning...
Spoiled America - Charley is away from home for the first time, and for a young lad of rich parents, this can be daunting. As a big boy sophomore, he's expected to go to all his classes, work a hoighty-toighty finance job, and still manage to find t...
WALPOLE, Massachusetts - The dean of Tucks College in Walpole has just passed a college directive which bans students of Tucks College from engaging in sex in the back seat of a vehicle (i.e. cars, trucks, taxi's, and SUVs). Dean Parlando Hickenlo...
Columbus, Ohio - Confused fans watched in disbelief as Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel surrendered to Southern California head coach Pete Carroll in Ohio Stadium well in advance of the two teams scheduled match-up on Saturday. "I just figured I...
The Council Of Advancing Public Education has released its annual 'Survey Of General Hiring Trends In U.S. And European Companies' again finding that businesses and government agencies in general would prefer to hire drunk-assed college graduates tha...
KOTZEBUE, AK - Sarah Palin, governor of America's last frontier, spoke to a cheering crowd of 300 in a remote Alaskan village 30 miles North of the Arctic Circle today, finally addressing speculation concerning her seemingly inexplicable decision to...
In a desperate effort to make money, a for-profit college Film and Photography college announced today that in addition to its usual photography and film making, it will now have a concentration in pornography. Like most for-profit schools, it has...
MEMPHIS - In one of the most astonishing upsets in NCAA history, the highly favored North Carolina Tar Heels have been defeated by the lowly-ranked Chopstick State Fighting Egg Rollers 107-13. Tar Heel coach Roy Williams was so stunned that he had...
The University of Nowhere has a long history of cheating in sports, from 35 year old ringers at QB to a locker room more juiced up than a Florida orange grove. When Alex Rodriguez offered to be the benefactor behind their new college baseball sta...
This will be my last e-mail from the University Of Oregon. As I walk around this dreary, dark campus, I have transcribed segments of a monologue that took place in my head: Good-bye university. Good-bye elitist higher education. Good-bye snobby egotistical self-motivated professors who spout endless babble in their monotonous, overly rehearsed dialogue. How many times do I have to hear of the e...
ANN ARBOR, Mich. (AP)-Rich Rodriguez walked off the field as a winner for the first time at Michigan. Not that he was in a particularly victorious mood. Brandon Minor's 15-yard touchdown run with 8:12 to go finally put away Miami of Ohio, helping...
Middlebury, Vt. /AP - Former Middlebury College President John McCardell has enlisted 100 college presidents behind his bill to lower the drinking age from 21 to 18 in an effort to make higher education "more fun". The Coalition of college pres...
Overley College freshman Bill Joeleton has "just about had it" with his roommate, Dave Forsart and his "constant hanging of a tie on the door." Joelton explained that the two of them agreed to hang a tie on the doorknob when eithe...
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